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The best dog training advice ever

The absolute best dog training advice sounds simple. Only two parts to it. And you don’t need any special tools, no particular gear. To really elevate your dog’s understanding, grow your relationship, and open up your dog’s best life, there are two things you need to do:

1: Wait
2: Shut up

We know that sounds rude. But it’s really hard to get people’s attention. And adhering to the best dog training advice isn’t easy. Just this morning, Hope was practicing some heeling with Torque and came to a stop. He sat, as he should. And then he flopped into a “Down.” He was trying to push Hope into whatever “next” would be. It didn’t work. She just looked at him and asked “What were you doing?” He stared back at her for at least 15 or 20 seconds before he got back up into a “Sit.” Hope said “Thank you!,” rewarded her dog for a good decision, and got back to her training game.

How long is a minute

We know how hard it is to just wait and say nothing. The temptation to repeat a command, or give a new one, is sometimes overwhelming. Resistance is not futile. It pays big dividends if you try it.

Think about having a two-legged teenager in the house. Mom says “Junior, please take out the trash.” Junior either ignores Mom or grunts some kind of acknowledgement. 15 minutes later, Mom repeats herself. And Junior grunts and/or waves again. After another 10 minutes, Mom’s lost her cool, and says decisively, “JUNIOR TIBERIUS TEENAGER – TAKE OUT THE TRASH!” And Junior finally does it.

Your training space does not have to be large.

If you keep repeating the same thing to your dog in the same way, that’s the pattern you’re training your dog to know. Say it once, clearly. Then shut up and give your dog time to think. For as long as it takes, if they’re still with you. If they’re not disengaging, they’re thinking, processing, and coming to a decision. It may seem like the time between word and action is forever – you could have said “Sit!” hundreds of times while you were waiting. That’s the point. You don’t want to have to say it a hundred times.

Trust us. We’re pretty certain your dog heard you the first time. Now they’re trying to figure out if you meant it, and what they’ll do about it.

Easier isn’t better

We know it’s easier to just say it again. Just don’t. Don’t deprive your dog of the opportunity to make a good decision. Believe in your dog. We’ve said it before: Wait for your dog!

The only way you can really find out if your dog knows something is to trust them to do it. You don’t know if your dog knows “Down!” unless you can say it once, from across the room, and your dog does it. We practice heeling quite a bit in our dog training classes. Randomly, we’ll call out “Down your dogs!” to our students. It’s really kind of impressive to watch a classful of dogs suddenly drop.

They don’t all start out that way. We’ve said “just wait” more times than we want to think about. And when people wait, their dog puzzles it out and does the right thing. Sometimes you can almost see the hamster-wheels in their brain spinning while they think. Some dogs will look around, see what the other dogs are doing, and copy. But given the chance to choose, dogs almost always choose wisely.

What if they don’t get it right?

By testing your dog’s knowledge of any skill, you gain valuable information for future training games. If they’re acing it, it’s time to move on. You can tuck that behavior into the drawer and air it out once in a while, just to keep it fresh. Now you have time to play a different game.

Nobody likes doing the same task over and over, without end. Not people. And not dogs, either. You can have a particular time and place that you play training games. If you do, your dog will learn the schedule and probably dash off to your special training area when it’s time. You’ll both have more fun if you play different training games, rather than just drilling something you’re “working” on. We want our dogs to be letter-perfect in the very specific exercises for competition obedience. That doesn’t mean we’re always hammering away at them. It means we treat them like all the other, silly, fun training games. Playing those maybe once a week. Maybe not. But always keeping it new, fresh, and fun for us and our dogs.

Why dogs can’t use forks everywhere

What an odd thing to say! Of course dogs can’t use forks. Why is that relevant for dog training?

It came up the other day when a new student of ours asked “Why does my dog know this stuff at home and not here?” (Patience, we’re getting to the forks part.)

It’s a good question, and one that addresses a fundamental difference between the way people think and the way dogs think. People generalize. Dogs don’t.

What does that mean? Basically it’s that your dog knows “Sit!” in the kitchen at home with you facing him/her and holding a treat. It’s knowledge in context, with a specific set of conditions. Change the conditions, and the knowledge isn’t there. Try it outside, or at training class, and your dog has no clue what the word “Sit!” means.

For people, it’s different. (Here come the forks!) Once you know how to use a fork, you know how to use every fork in the world, regardless of where you are, what the fork is made of, or what it looks like. A fork with only two tines? No problem. Plastic, bamboo, or metal? Not an issue. Your knowledge of “fork” expands to include all forks, everywhere.

Getting past the problem

The solution is to vary your training so that your dog learns to generalize. Randomly, wherever you are, tell your dog to “Sit!” And be prepared to reward when he/she does. If your dog doesn’t sit – just wait. Give them time to think and process. “We’re not in the kitchen, but the sound she’s making is familiar, and her hand up like that means she has a cookie.” Give the message time to make its way from your dog’s brain to their hindquarters. Be patient. And reward generously for success.

Just because your dog doesn’t, by nature, generalize doesn’t mean they can’t. But creating new ways of thinking takes some time and consistency. And the skill, once it’s attained, has to be practiced. Every command your dog learns has to expand in range.

It sounds like a lot of time and effort, but it’s really not. Once your dog gets with the program, it’s easy and fun to try. Yesterday, while Fran and Simon were waiting around for Novice Obedience class to start, she gave him the “Troll!” command (from “Front!” the dog goes around to your right and goes between your legs, looking up at you). And he did it! Even though he’d never done it in that place before.

Expand their horizons

One of the beauty parts of the 2-Minute Trainer method is that you can always back up. If your dog’s understanding of something is “iffy” in new circumstances, just go back as far as you need to. Whatever steps you took to teach the dog in the first place can be recreated. Your dog will most likely remember quickly: “Oh, I remember that now!”

When you build a firm foundation for your dog’s learning, it’s not just easier to teach them to generalize. It also opens the pathways for learning new things and building on known skills. Creating variations of games also helps. For example: if you teach your dog to retrieve an Obedience dumbbell, what happens if you place it on the floor at a distance instead of throwing it? What if the dumbbell is on end, instead of on its side? Or if, instead of dropping it, you ask your dog to carry it while heeling?

Teach dogs to use every fork

Practically speaking, dogs who absolutely know what they’re supposed to be doing will do it when asked, anytime, anywhere. Another example is the “Figure 8” obedience exercise. Most people train the exercise as it’s performed in competition: heel around two cones, crossing in the center, then halt. Then do it again.

Training only the exercise as it’s required in competition means that the dogs are pattern trained. They can do the exercise all by themselves without their person. They don’t understand that it’s about paying attention to their person and heeling together as a team. The goal should be building your teamwork, not the mechanics of the exercise.

Instead of the “real” exercise; put out three cones, or four. Go any which way, asking your dog to stay with you. If they don’t know where you’re going, they have to pay attention. Another variation on the behavior that grows your dog’s understanding.

Generally speaking

The joy and challenge of dog training is to build your dog’s understanding. When you see your dog “get” something you’ve been teaching, the feeling of pride, for both of you, is exhilarating. It may take patience to get there, but it’s worth it.

Did you mess up? Give your dog an “oops cookie”

Give your dog a cookie when you mess up.

If you’ve ever made a mistake and groaned, or muttered “ugh!,” your dog needs an “oops cookie.” It’s not that you’re not allowed to make mistakes. You are. Everybody is. It’s to let your dog know it’s not their fault.

Your dog thinks you are absolutely perfect. Everything you do or say is right in your dog’s eyes. Therefore, it’s inconceivable that you’re ever wrong. Or so your dog thinks.

If you’re human, that’s not true. But your dog doesn’t know that. Let’s keep it that way.

The most tell-tale sign that you’ve made a mistake is when you say “ugh!” or something less g-rated. But when you say something like that out loud, your dog thinks they did something wrong. Because you’re perfect in your dog’s eyes. So it must be their fault, or so they think.

Unless you convince them otherwise, your dog may get confused. They won’t know how to “fix” what happened, because they don’t know what went wrong. Some dogs worry about being right. If your dog’s one of them, they might shut down or disengage.

When you make a mistake in your training games give your dog a treat. As soon as “ugh!” leaves your lips, reach for a treat and stick it in your dog’s mouth. It’s a “goof goodie,” or an “oops cookie.” It’s especially important if you’ve muttered something like “darn!” or something more colorful. Your dog doesn’t understand that you make mistakes, so they might take the blame on themselves.

Nobody’s perfect

Years ago, Hope volunteered as a reading tutor for adults learning to read English. As part of their lessons, Hope and the students took turns reading out loud. It was a complete surprise to the students that everybody (even Hope!) stumbles over words and isn’t perfect. And they were much less shy about their reading aloud when they understood that nobody’s perfect.

Unfortunately, your dog will never understand “it’s not you, it’s me!” So skim over the mistake by giving your dog a treat and moving on. Don’t dwell on whatever you screwed up. Just try not to do it again.

Move along, there

Whether you said the wrong thing, clicked at the wrong time, turned in the wrong direction, it doesn’t matter. Just start over or do it again. It takes a while to stop the inadvertent blurts when you mess up. Don’t dwell, just give your dog a goof goodie and get back to your training game.

The nice thing is that your dog won’t question unexpected jackpots. They may not know why they got the oops cookie, but they also don’t care. If you’re like us, sometimes your dog gets a treat just for breathing. Or looking cute. Dogs are really good at cute. Chalk it up to cute.

Change your habit

It takes a long time and lots of conscious effort to change a habit. If you always say something to mark your mistakes, it’s going to take time to turn that around. You may not even know you do it. It’s another argument for recording your training games – and watching the playback. In the meantime, recognize when you’ve done it and give your good dog an “oops cookie.”

Wait for your dog

Are you a good enough dog trainer to wait for your dog? Do you give them the time they need to process and take action?

Everybody wants their dog to get things right. Especially when they’re out in public. It’s understandable. We all want the world to know how wonderful our dogs are. And they are. If they’re allowed the time they need.

We’ve said before that the hardest part of dog training is doing nothing. Just waiting for your dog can be agonizing. Whether it’s remembering something they should do, or trying something new, dogs need time to think, process, and react.

Building patience

Just this week in Hope’s Obedience competition class, one of the dog/handler teams had a moment. Jessie, a gorgeous Bouvier des Flandres, and his dad were doing the Recall. (Handler leaves dog in a sit/stay, walks across the room, turns and faces dog, calls dog, dog runs and sits in front of handler.) David called Jessie, who bounded across the room (good boy!). And stood in front of David. Just stood. (Image from akc.org.)

Hope told David to wait. To look at Jessie’s butt. And wait. Don’t say anything, don’t do anything, don’t move. Just wait.

David and Jessie have been in class long enough that Jessie knows what he’s supposed to do. But Jessie’s young, and a bit silly and pushy. He tests what he can get away with. And, like every single person on the planet, David wanted to “help” his dog get it right. We could all see him itching to say “Sit!”

But he didn’t say it. And, after what seemed like half an hour to everybody, but was probably less than a minute, Jessie sat. David celebrated with his dog and everybody else cheered. We’re not sure if anyone else was holding their breath, waiting for Jessie, but we certainly were.

No matter how long you’ve been training dogs, no matter how well you know the dog, they’re still dogs. There can always be a surprise factor, a random distraction, a momentary brain glitch.

How do you know how long?

One of the questions people have is “How long should I wait?” The simple answer is “as long as your dog is still trying.” If your dog is still engaged, still happy to be playing the training game with you, keep waiting. But if your 2-Minute timer buzzes, keep waiting if you have some extra time. As long as your dog is paying attention, interested in the game, and not quitting on you – give them all the time they need. Wait for your dog.

Some of the very best training is achieved by letting the dog puzzle it through. We can all think of a situation where we figured out how to do something, instead of being told. And just by figuring it out ourselves, we knew it forever. Thinking through a problem cements the solution in your memory.

Did it work?

In competition class, everyone takes turns doing the Recall. We usually practice it two or three times. And it would be lovely if we could report that Jessie’s second turn this week had a triumphant, instantaneous “Sit!” That didn’t happen. Same thing – he ran over and stood in front of David. But this time, there was a difference in Jessie’s attitude. It was almost like he was asking David if he really meant it. David stood quiet and let Jessie think it through. Jessie sat.

The Best Dog Training Treats – soft, small, & smelly

We get asked all the time – “What are the best dog training treats?” or “What treats do you recommend for dog training?”

Like so many things in life, the answer is “It depends.” It depends on you, your dog, the resources available to you, your creativity, and flexibility. The only real rule is: Training treats should be soft, small, and smelly. Soft so you don’t leave crumbs all over. Small so your dog can swallow in one bite. And smelly so your dog’s irresistibly attracted to them.

Keep it special

One of our instructions for students in our classes is to bring lots of treats to dog training. And when they think they have enough for an hour-long class, double it. And we still always bring treats to supplement what they think is adequate.

We also recommend your dog’s training treats are something they absolutely adore. And that it’s reserved for training. If it’s saved for training games, it will enhance your dog’s eagerness to play with you.

Similarly, when you want your dog to love something, use that precious flavor bite. Our dogs adore peanut butter. We save it as a special treat they get only in their crates. As a result, when they see us getting out the peanut butter jar, they stampede to their crates. Don’t get in the way – they’ll run you over and not look back.

Your dog decides

Your dog’s tastes decide the best dog training treats. Some commonly used human-food choices are cheese and hot dogs. Others are pretty weird. We had a student who took “soft, small, and smelly” to the limit. She used defrosted little popcorn shrimp. It worked for her. She didn’t mind handling them, and her dog loved them.

We’ve had a weirdo or two ourselves. Hope’s first French Bulldog, Dax, wasn’t very motivated in training. Until, in desperation to get her to tug something, Hope used a limp stalk of celery. It worked – she tugged like a maniac and loved it.

It’s what your dog likes, and what you can handle, that decides on the best dog training treats. If your hands are always sweaty, or it’s hot where you live, cheese probably isn’t a good choice. If your dog has food sensitivities, only offer treats that you know won’t haunt you later.

It’s a snack, not a meal

Nutritional value may not be the primary consideration for training treats. Unless you’re in a class, you’re only playing training games for a couple minutes at a time. For those couple of minutes, it’s not awful to give your dog “junk food.” It’s a snack, not a meal. After all, we’re training for the real world, not a sterile space with no distractions.

The irresistible treats we bring to supplement our students’ supplies are the cheapest, nastiest, dog food nuggets we can find. We get “semi-moist” dog food that comes in plastic packets. It reeks of garlic (which dogs love), and is unnaturally bright red. And dogs absolutely adore it.

One of our students had stopped on the way to class and purchased high-quality, nutritious treats. His dog had absolutely no interest in that broccoli of dog treats. After one sniff of the “junk food,” he had his dog’s complete attention the rest of class.

Ideally, you’ll find the perfect blend of healthy and irresistible that works for your dog. Or you’ll mitigate the damage of junk food by making a “trail mix” of treats. Using a variety of treats and mixing them together is another way to keep your dog’s interest – they never know what the next morsel will be.

Don’t say No! Use a non-reward marker in dog training

One of the tools we use to train dogs is a non-reward marker. It’s a way of telling our dogs they’ve messed up, without saying “No!” or shutting them down. While not all positive reinforcement trainers are on board with using one, we find our dogs do better when they get feedback.

Positive is not permissive. Training a dog with positive reinforcement doesn’t mean the dog gets to do whatever it wants, whenever it wants. It means that while teaching dogs how to behave, you don’t punish them for not doing it. Positive reinforcement has been proven, in study after study, to be more effective long term, and result in more confident, smarter, happier dogs.

If you’re not giving “corrections” or telling your dog “No!,” how do you let them know if they’re wrong? One way is to use a non-reward marker. It lets the dog know they’re not exactly right, and to keep trying to figure things out.

Non-reward marker vs. ignoring

In some training scenarios the ideal response is to ignore the behavior. In others, it’s to let the dog know what they’re doing wrong. How do you know which tool to pull out of your training toolbox?

In cases like barking, or jumping on people, the dog is generally looking for attention. Denying that attention by ignoring the behavior lets the dog know it’s not working. In these situations, the training part comes in as soon as the dog exhibits the behavior you want. Immediately when the dog is quiet, even if it’s for a nanosecond, praise and reward. As soon as the dog has all four feet on the ground, praise and reward. The dog gets what it wants (attention) when we get what we want (quiet, feet on the ground).

Other situations call for other training methods. If you and your dog are playing a training game, like “Put Your Toys Away” or “Ring Stacking,” your dog is going to make “mistakes,” or not get it right. In the early stages of teaching any game, it’s a good idea to keep up an encouraging dialogue, letting your dog know it’s okay to keep trying.

Once the dog knows the game well, you can let them know they messed up with a non-reward marker.

What is a non-reward marker?

You can use any non-threatening phrase as a non-reward marker. Whatever comes naturally to you will work. Just make sure it’s something that doesn’t sound threatening, so no Klingon phrases. Something like “uh-oh!” or “oopsy!” is just about perfect. No one ever sounded angry saying “oopsy!”

Some dogs will know they’re not right because they don’t hear the clicker. Others will need more feedback. Especially dogs who lack confidence may need to hear from you that they’re okay, but just not exactly on target. As long as your dog keeps trying during a session, they’re getting the reinforcement they need.

Having to use a non-reward marker repeatedly may mean the step you’re asking from your dog is too big. Try and think of a way to break down the behavior into smaller pieces. With some games your dog may leap to the end, jumping over many little steps you may have thought were necessary. Other behaviors will be clear as mud to your dog. Observing your dog’s eagerness to play, engagement during the game, and excitement for the “click!” will guide your training. Give your dog the time he needs to understand the game.

Sometimes just wait

Booker needs a non-reward marker for feedback when his actions aren't quite right.

Booker, Fran’s 10-year-old Boston Terrier, is a dog who gets a little exuberant and loses focus during training games. He needs the feedback of a non-reward marker to keep him engaged and playing the games we want to play. At some point during particularly movement-oriented games, Booker will get over-excited and forget what he’s supposed to be doing. Even if the game is only 2 Minutes long. The non-reward marker lets him know that he’s still playing the game with us, we’re still paying attention, and “good” behavior will be rewarded.

Torque, Hope’s 8-year-old French Bulldog, listens for the “click!” If he doesn’t hear it, he goes back to see what didn’t happen that was supposed to. Only occasionally does he need to hear a non-reward marker. For him, it’s more of a conversation: “Oh my goodness! What happened?” or “That didn’t work, did it?”

Use it if you need it

You know your dog best. If you think your dog needs the feedback that a non-reward marker will give, use it. See what phrase works best for you and your dog. Be sure it’s not one your dog finds off-putting or that will shut them down. You want your dog to keep trying. And be ready to reward when they get it right.

Tell your dog everything

One of the most wonderful things about dogs is you can tell your dog anything. Whatever you say, they’ll think it’s fascinating, wonderful, and amazing. Dogs love it when you talk to them.

The more you do, the more words they’ll understand. Who doesn’t have a story about the words you have to spell out loud so your dog doesn’t get too excited? Is that magic word “Walk” in your house? In ours its “Wannagwout?”

Dogs are capable of learning the meaning of hundreds of words. It’s up to you to teach them.

Tell your dog everything

There’s no reason to be shy about talking to your dog. If you’re a quiet person who doesn’t say much when you’re alone with your dogs, give it a try. If you don’t really have anything to say, just describe what you’re doing or your plans for the day in a conversational tone. When you’re out on a walk, or running errands with your dog, keep up the dialogue. Even if somebody sees or hears you, they’ll assume you’re on the phone, not a crazy person talking to your dog.

Talking about phones, many dogs react rudely when their people actually do talk on the phone. One of the reasons is because they’re not used to it. You can mimic a phone conversation to train your dog how to act when you pick up the phone. Decide what behavior you’d like, and make it into a training game. Test your phone’s ring tone, tell your dog “Place!”, and reward. If you give your dog something to do when your phone rings, they’ll be less likely to bother you.

Give them the words

Anything you need or want your dog to do can be easier if you make it a training game. In the last couple of weeks, we taught our dogs a new behavior, just by naming it.

It started when a baby bunny decided our fenced yard was a great place to nibble on grass. Since we don’t want our dogs catching the bunny, we started putting on their collars and leashes before going out – even in our own yard.

The dogs would rather be naked in the yard as well as the house, so there was some reluctance and backing up when we showed them their collars. Instead of chasing them around to put on their collars, we turned it into a training game.

It was easy to do, and the dogs all learned in a couple of days. The game was to hold out the collar, say “Collar!” and reward all the little steps: looking at the collar, sniffing the collar, laying their throat on the collar, clasping the collar, opening the collar. Since they’re all familiar with collars to start with, there was no resistance or fear. But there were lots of treats.

Let them know what’s going on

Now when we say collar, our dogs stand and stretch their necks so we can put on their collars. To keep the value of the behavior, we still reward it. Maybe not every time, but often. And especially when they were busy elsewhere and come running over when we say “Collar!”

Just telling your dog what’s going on can make the difference. If there’s something your dog is reluctant to do, think about how you can turn it around. Use your words and your treats to change anything into a game your dog will want to play.

Never too late to socialize your dog

Lots of puppies adopted in the last couple of years have been deprived. They’re not accustomed to real life in the real world. There wasn’t a way to properly socialize your dog. There just weren’t the places to go, classes to take, people to see, that other dogs got to experience. The good news is that it’s never too late. Every healthy dog can learn to be calm and confident in public, regardless of age or upbringing.

The pandemic saw the shelters empty as people looked for companionship during the lockdown. That was good for both the animals and the humans. There’s no one who appreciates time spent at home more than your dog. The down side was that these dogs led a sheltered existence, so to speak. The world they grew up in wasn’t the same as the one we have now.

Socializing your dog doesn’t mean they have to like every person or dog. It means they can be calm and listen to you wherever you are, whatever’s around, whoever you’re with.

Getting socialized

Just because your puppy couldn’t go places, meet people, and do things doesn’t mean they’ll never be able to. It does mean some “remedial” socialization has to happen. If your dog grew up in the time of “social distancing,” you just couldn’t do the things that help dogs mature into confident, calm beings with public manners. Now, you can.

The key is to start small. If your dog reacts to people walking by, freaks out when bicycles pass, or can’t handle hordes of traffic, don’t plunge them right into those situations. Figure out your dog’s “comfort zone” and expand their world gradually.

Distance is always your friend when training a reactive dog. Watch your dog’s body language. As long as they’re calm and relaxed, you’re doing fine. Watch for signs of stress. They may not be as obvious as lunging and barking.

Something as subtle as stopping to scratch may be stress. It could also be an itch, so look at your dog’s overall demeanor. Where is she holding her tail, or ears? A stiffly-held tail and laid-back ears are signs of nerves. Is he panting? Are the whites of his eyes showing? All of these say “I’m not comfortable.” If that’s the case, stop where you are and just let the dog adjust.

Using dog training’s most difficult skill

This is the time you need to pull out all your patience and just wait. Hang out with your dog. Let them look around and see there’s nothing threatening. When they look at you, reward. You’re establishing in the dog’s mind that they can trust you. You won’t bring them anywhere that’s scary or unsafe.

In this week’s “Manners” class, the first skill Hope had the dogs practicing was this one – doing nothing. All of these dogs were pandemic puppies, now grown into not-very-socialized dogs. It took a while for them to figure out there was nothing going on. We were all just sitting there. Ignoring their noise-making.

When they figured out there was nothing to bark at – they all stopped barking. Of course there were a few moments when one would forget and start, which triggered all of them. But each episode was shorter and had fewer participants.

If the dog stays calm or neutral, that’s the objective. The next time you can get a little closer and start reducing the size of the dog’s comfort zone. When you reach a point where your dog can sit calmly as people walk by in your quest to socialize your dog, it’s time to ask for some help.

Enlist friends and strangers

Ask people walking by to toss some treats to your dog. Hand them some treats if you can get that close. If not, put them on a surface and step away so the other person can reach the treats. As you calmly discuss the weather with the other person, they can toss the treats near your dog. Strangers, in time, become something to be happy about.

Fran’s almost 14-year-old Brussels Griffon Tango (pictured above) was an extremely reactive dog. He would bark, lunge, and try to bite both people and other dogs. No one but Fran could get near him. Taking him out in public was impossible. That was 13 years ago – he was 11 months old when he came home.

Now, just by the simple method described here, anyone can give Tango treats, pet him, even hold him. His first “cookie ladies” are still his favorite people – other than Fran. He was able to compete in Agility and Rally at large, noisy venues full of other dogs and people. Now, as a retired elder statesman dog, he’s everybody’s friend and a perfect gentleman. (Check out Book 5: Reactive Dog Recipe in the 2-Minute Trainer’s ebook series.) Tango is proof that it’s never too late to socialize your dog.

Socialize your dog at your dog’s speed

However old your dog is, that’s how long they’ve been building their current behavior. It won’t take as long to change it, but it will take patience and consistency. Stretch your dog’s “comfort zone,” but don’t try to smash the barrier all at once. You can have the calm, polite, socialized dog you planned on. It’s just going to take as long as it takes.

Getting to the “Aha!” moment in dog training

It’s the biggest joy. That “Aha!” moment in dog training that happens when the dog gets it and the dog’s owner sees it. When the team comes together in understanding that they can trust each other, work together, and achieve more than they ever imagined.

We got to see it just this week. This person has had dogs for years. She’s followed lots of different dog trainers and tried all different methods of dog training. And in one single session, she saw her dog change, think, learn, and grow. It was kind of wonderful to be part of it.

Let them think

We wish that these amazing training moments were video-worthy. But they’re not. It’s one of those things where you absolutely have to be there to realize something special is going on.

This person really, really wants her dog (a Portuguese Water Dog) to play the “Put Your Toys Away” game. The first step is to set something not-very-valuable to the dog on the floor. And stare at it. At first, the dog either bothers the hand with the treats, nudges the clicker hand, tries licking or whining to get the action started. The owner and I just wait, staring at the “thing.” In this case, it was an antler chew toy, which the dog doesn’t particularly like. Eventually, in his bid to make something happen, the dog accidentally touches the antler with his paw. Click, cookie near the antler.

The dog sits back and stares at us. What just happened? What did I do to get that treat? You can absolutely see the wheels turning in the dog’s brain. We go back to staring at the antler. The dog gets up and tries it again, licking, whining at the treat hand. Nothing. Turns and looks at the antler and slaps it. Click, cookie by the antler.

The “Aha!” moment in dog training arrives. The dog is starting to make the connection. Slap the antler, get a cookie. We’re over our three minutes by then, but the owner wants to keep going.

Next step

After three times pawing at the antler and getting rewarded, we know the dog has figured out that getting the treat has something to do with that object he doesn’t really care about. But he does care about getting treats. For the next step, to encourage growth of the game, we stop rewarding for using his paw. We’re looking for him to use his mouth to pick up the antler.

We could see him get a little frustrated – what worked before isn’t working now. Again, he sits back on his haunches. You can see him thinking. And he comes back to try something else. He mouths the antler! Click and reward. He does it again! Click and reward.

At this point, we’re well over the time threshold and call it a day. The next step will be getting him to hold the antler. Then move while holding it. Then take it to a basket or toy bin. Then drop it. Each little step matters. Some dogs will get it right away. Others may still be at the starting line. But, with your patience, every single dog will experiment to see what gets the reward.

When they know, they know

When you have a dog that’s accustomed to trying new things, thinking of solutions, and experimenting, you have a phenomenal companion and partner. Dogs become more confident, more social, better-behaved, and much more fun. And while the behaviors you learn together may go viral, the process isn’t exciting. Mostly what you’re doing is watching and waiting. The result is worth it. The owner, attuned to her dog, had an “Aha!” moment of her own. It was the first time she’d seen him think, solve, and grow before her eyes.

You can’t teach dogs “don’t”

There’s no way to teach dogs “don’t”

“Stop! Don’t do that!” When you say it in “Mom Voice,” most children will freeze and stare at you. Whatever they were caught doing stops immediately. Dogs? Not so much. It’s practically impossible to teach a dog “don’t. That’s the biggest difference between talking to a toddler and a dog.

You can't teach dogs "don't," but you can teach them to do something else instead of jumping.

That doesn’t mean dogs get away with unacceptable behaviors. But when someone asks how to teach their dog “not to jump,” it’s the wrong question. A better, faster, easier approach is to give the dog something else to do instead of jumping on people. (We educated our cousin how to refocus her dog from jumping not long ago.)

Instead behaviors

Think about it. All of the successful things you’ve taught your dog, from potty-training to complex tricks, are teaching them what to do. Not what not to do. If you just thought “Wait! Potty training is teaching the dog not to eliminate in the house!” That’s how you think of it. In fact, what you’ve trained your dog is where they should eliminate.

It’s the same for any other dog’s naughty behavior. We teach our dogs to “Sit!” as a response to a doorbell ringing or a knock on the door. They’re doing something, instead of “not” jumping.

For a while, we believed our dogs knew how to “Leave it!” It’s what we used when their noses poked into the wastebaskets, or they obsessed over the place the bunny dove under the gate. What we really taught our dogs was to refocus on us and get rewarded. Instead of the negative “stop that” behavior intended, we got a “look at me” behavior. That realization changed nothing. We still got what we wanted. Our dogs leave the thing alone. And we still say “Leave it!” because that’s what we’re all used to.

Call it whatever you want

Do the dogs understand the phrase “leave it?” No. They understand that when they hear those words there’s something they’re supposed to do. As long as you’re consistent with the words you attach to behaviors, it works. Like Humpty Dumpty in Alice in Wonderland: “When I use a word… it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

So although the “Leave it!” command is phrased as something “not” to do, there’s actually a positive “something” to do attached. If there’s anything your dog does that you wish they wouldn’t, the most effective way to change the behavior is to give them something to do instead.

Works for all kinds of things

Changing how you phrase things gives you the ability to translate it into “dog.” Since you can’t teach your dogs don’t pull on the leash, instead train them to walk at your side. Rather than “stop counter-surfing,” teach them where their “Place!” is in the kitchen. Substitute “get your toy” for barging into someone coming in the door.

Think about the things your dog does that annoy you. Be honest – every dog is occasionally annoying. Picture what you’d like your dog to do in those circumstances. Then you’ll have a plan to turn things around. What would you like him/her to be doing instead? And how can you make a training game out of it? Now you’re thinking like a dog trainer.