Congratulations! You just taught your dog to play a fun new game called “Throw Your Dog Away!”
You didn’t mean to start a rough-and-tumble wrestling match? Then we need to stop rewarding the wrong stuff.
You’re Not Alone
Everybody does it. Everybody inadvertently rewards the wrong behavior at some point. Perfect timing, flawless mechanics, and constant attention are hurdles that every dog owner stumbles over.
Fortunately, dogs are incredibly forgiving. Messing up is inevitable—after all, we’re only human. But the first step in fixing a training problem is recognizing that it exists.
Watch Your Hands
One of the most common things we see is people swinging their hands up and away when a dog gets a little too excited or jumpy. It’s a natural, human reaction.
The problem? Dogs are hard-wired to track motion. If your arms go swinging up, your dog is going to follow them. If you don’t want your dog jumping at you, keep your hands down and still.
The same rule applies if your dog is a bit too grabby when taking treats. If you jerk your hand away, they will just lunge forward to follow it. It can get painful, which is why children shouldn’t play grabby games. But rather than jerking away, try keeping your hand still, or making it “bigger” by closing it into a fist until they back off.
In fact, learning to control those teeth is a huge part of teaching a dog boundary control. If you want a structured way to teach your dog to back off instead of grabbing, check out our favorite impulse-control game, “Whatcha Gonna Do?”
Flip the Script: Teach What to Do
Many of the things we want our dogs to learn are “don’ts.” Don’t jump. Don’t grab. Don’t pull. Don’t counter-surf.
But teaching a negative to a dog is like trying to explain baseball to an alien. After a while, you just wind up with total confusion. (Have you seen Who’s On First?) Dogs don’t understand the absence of a behavior; they need an active job to do.
By consistently rewarding the behaviors you do want—like when your dog chooses to keep four paws on the floor or sit politely in front of you—you build a habit of good decision-making. Whenever your dog chooses the right thing, acknowledge and reward it immediately.
It’s always a revelation when handlers see their dogs explicitly “choose” the right behavior. You can actually see the lightbulb go on! Celebrate those moments—that’s where a strong foundation is built.
This week, one of our trainees almost got run over by a freight train.
Not really. But it was touch-and-go for a minute.
We were doing practice run-throughs in our Novice competition class. On the Recall exercise, Doug called his powerful, fast Staffordshire Terrier mix, Zeke.
But Doug used the wrong word.
If he’d said “Front!” Zeke would have known to dash across the room and sit politely at Doug’s feet. Instead, Doug shouted, “Come!”
Zeke charged full speed ahead and barreled right into Doug’s knees.
Let’s Be Absolutely Clear
Dogs are capable of understanding dozens, if not hundreds, of words. But to a dog, each word has a single, literal meaning. Humans excel at deciphering meaning through context. Dogs? Not so much.
Want to confuse your dog? Tell them to “Sit down.”
Every human knows exactly what you mean. But your dog thinks you just gave two separate, contradictory cues. Do you want me on my butt, or flat on my belly?
Every word you teach your dog needs a specific definition:
For Zeke, “Come” means “get over here as fast as you can (and clear the runway).”
“Front” means “we’re playing Obedience, so when you get here, sit politely right in front of me.”
Nuances Matter
At first, Doug couldn’t figure out why Zeke was acting like he was in a demolition derby. He tried the exercise a second time—and had to leap out of the way just in time to avoid another knee-capping.
Then it hit him: “Did I say ‘Come’ or ‘Front’?”
The specific words you choose matter. Dogs are master pattern-recognizers. They pick up on our vocabulary when we deliberately teach them, but also by eavesdropping on our daily routines. It’s why most dog owners eventually have to resort to spelling out loud: W-A-L-K, C-A-R, or B-A-T-H.
Getting Down to the Nitty-Gritty
Just how precise should your cues be? As granular as possible.
For people playing dog sports like Rally or Agility, teaching your dog “Turn” isn’t specific enough. When you hear agility handlers sprinting a course yelling “Left!” or “Right!”, it’s not wishful thinking. Their dogs truly know their directions.
We even use different words to cue dogs to spin in opposite directions. Clockwise has one word; counter-clockwise has another.
The most creative version we’ve heard came from one of our students. She uses “Spin” for clockwise, and “Nips” for counter-clockwise. Why? Because nips is spin spelled backward!
Which Word You Choose Doesn’t Matter (Consistency Does)
As long as you’re consistent, you can choose any word you like for any behavior. Dogs don’t speak English; they learn the associations we build for them.
For the “Place!” game, you can use “Bed,”“Mat,” or “Rug.” It doesn’t matter, as long as everyone in the family uses the exact same word.
We often see funny family dynamics play out in our training classes. When the husband uses “Up!” and the wife uses “Stand!”, the only result is a highly confused dog.
Pick a word and stick to it. Say what you mean, use it consistently, and your dog will understand. Because words matter a lot in dog training.
Hope is horrible at remembering names. Especially the names of the humans in her dog training classes. But the dogs’? She has them down by week two. Most of them, she knows by the end of class one.
Want to know why? The nice answer is that Hope loves dogs, is fascinated by dogs, and wants to get to know every dog on the planet.
The real answer is that the dogs’ owners are constantly saying the dog’s name and won’t shut the heck up. “Sparky, Sparky, Sparky.”
The dog didn’t listen the first 12 times. What are you doing differently that will get you a jackpot at 13?
He’s Not Deaf. He’s Ignoring You.
Do you know any toddlers? Human children, that is. If you do, you know exactly how your dog feels when you constantly say their name with no other information. There’s no difference between a kid yelling “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” and you chanting “Fido, Fido, Fido.” After a while, it just becomes background noise.
Stop nagging your dog. Give them clear cues on what to do, and give them a reason to do it.
And please, don’t even start chanting if your dog’s focus is completely riveted on a bunny that just crossed your path, another dog, or the garbage truck going down the alley. Standing there saying “Spot. Spot. Spot.” isn’t going to win against those distractions.
Try this instead: Dash up to your dog, gently blow on the back of their head, and run in the opposite direction while calling their name. Chances are excellent they’ll turn and fly after you.
Because I Said So
But, you argue, “I want my dog to do what I say when I say it!”
Good luck with that. Unless your dog comes with rechargeable batteries, that isn’t going to happen.
Dogs are perfectly happy to do what we ask—as long as they understand how to do it and what they’ll get for doing it.
Running away can save your dog. Yes, dogs can be bribed, but it’s usually not worth the effort. You can be holding the juiciest, most delicious-smelling ribeye ever grilled. But if your dog is rolling on a dead worm (or something worse), they won’t care. That steak doesn’t even exist in their aromatic nirvana. Yelling “Dog, COME!” isn’t going to work.
That’s a life-threatening problem.
“Come” is one of three cues that can save your dog’s life. (The other two are “Stay” and “Drop It.”)
Imagine the internet tech left the gate open. You didn’t notice, the door opens, and your dog makes a mad dash for the street just as a car is turning the corner. What’s the best way to get them to turn around?
The answer makes complete sense, yet most people struggle to do it: The most effective way to get your dog to come to you is to run away at top speed, yelling their name.
Why Running Away Works (The “Chase” Factor)
It feels completely counter-intuitive. When your dog is running toward danger, every fiber of your being screams to run toward them. But to a dog, you running at them is either:
A Game of Tag: “Oh boy! Mom is joining the fun! I run, she runs, we all run!”
A Threat: If you’re yelling and charging, a sensitive dog might actually bolt faster to avoid the “angry human” coming their way.
By running away, you flip the script. You trigger their predatory chase drive. Suddenly, you are the most interesting, fast-moving thing in the environment. Their brain switches from “I’m exploring” to “I have to catch my human!”
The 2-Minute Game: The Chase Recall
Getting your dog to chase you works with the dog’s natural instincts. It works even better if the dog knows the “Chase Recall” game and loves it. You get your dog to love the game by playing it frequently with high-value rewards.
If your dog has a reliable “Stay!” cue, you can play “Chase Recall” by yourself. If your dog’s “Stay!” isn’t great, you’ll need either another person or a heavy piece of furniture with legs.
How to Play:
Set the Stage: Have your dog sit and stay.
Build Tension: Walk half the distance of your space, turning every couple of steps to look over your shoulder and prompt your dog: “Ready?” “Ready?”
The Release: Take off running to the other side, calling your dog’s name. (If you have someone holding the dog, they should release them the second you say the name).
The Celebration: When your dog reaches you, celebrate! Many treats, pets, and dance for joy.
The Golden Rule: You always, every single time through their entire life, reward your dog for coming to you.
All Alone? The “Furniture Version”
If your dog doesn’t “Stay!” and nobody else is around, you can play by yourself with some precautions:
Put a long line (10 to 15 feet) on your dog’s collar or harness and feed it around the bottom of a heavy piece of furniture.
Your dog should sit near the furniture, but not too close.
While you’re still close to the dog, take up most of the slack and hold the dog in place as you walk a couple of paces away.
When you have a little distance, drop the line and run, calling your dog’s name.
Safety First: When using the furniture version, ensure the line is fed around a smooth, sturdy surface so it doesn’t snag or tip anything over.
Pro Tip: Prevent the “Recall Gap”
To be sure you can get hold of your dog when you really need to, make a habit of grabbing their collar or harness as you’re rewarding them for coming. Let it go immediately.
Your dog will get used to you reaching for them and will learn that the fun doesn’t stop just because you held on for a moment. This prevents the “Recall Gap”—where a dog comes close but dances just out of reach.
Make it a Favorite
A reliable recall is crucial. Knowing your dog will come when called gives you tremendous peace of mind. Practice often, even after your dog already knows the game. You never know when you’ll need it. And it’s better to have something and not need it than to need it and not have it.
The 2-Minute Challenge
Set a timer for 120 seconds right now. See how many “Chase Recalls” you can fit in before the buzzer goes off. Keep it fast, keep it happy, and stop while they still want more!
Choke points like hallways and elevators can be nightmares for dog people. If you live in a multi-unit building, your dog’s behavior has implications beyond your four walls – too many neighbor complaints can even threaten your housing status. This dog elevator training tip can help you navigate those choke points.
The “Surprise Factor”
The hardest part of shared housing is the lack of predictability. You never know who – or what dog – is around the corner. Even friendly dogs can react poorly when startled. We’ve all bumped into someone inadvertently; for us, it’s an “excuse me.” For a dog, it’s a high-stakes confrontation.
From the dog’s perspective
Elevators must seem like strange magic from your dog’s point of view. Doors open. You step into a hushed, windowless box. Doors close, with no obvious escape point. When the doors reopen, you’ve been magically transported to a completely different place. Different sights, sounds, smells, and surprises..
When you think about it, it’s kind of amazing that dogs get in elevators at all. Just that simple act of getting in an elevator is a profound example of how much your dog trusts you.
We’ve talked many times about how dogs gain confidence and security with routine. If you’ve established a pattern for elevator rides, your dog will be more likely to stay with your game than stick his nose in your neighbor’s crotch.
Familiarity breeds calm
So instead of hoping for a calm ride, give your dog a clear plan. Routine is the antidote to anxiety. If you establish a “game” for the ride, your dog will stay focused on you rather than your neighbor’s grocery bags.
The “Touch!” Game: This is a top-tier elevator tool. It keeps your dog’s nose on your hand and their mind on a high rate of reward.
The “Target!” Game: If your dog has a favorite portable target, use it. It’s worth the extra effort to carry if it keeps them “in the zone.”
The “Job” Strategy: Give them something to do. Teaching your dog to carry a favorite toy provides a single focus.
Real-World Example: Hope’s Frenchie, Torque, used to get unwanted attention because of his “snorty” breathing (other dogs thought he was growling). Hope solved this by letting him carry his pink rubber ball. Now, other dogs see the toy, and neighbors just think he’s cute.
A Quick Pro-Tip
Keep treats by your keys. If you grab one, you grab the other.
If your dog is triggered by sights and sounds on your daily walks, you need to use your thumb for something besides swiping your screen.
The “thumb trick” is easy. You always have your thumbs with you, so make use of them to help your dog stay calm in the neighborhood. Your new Rule Of Thumb – if your thumb, held at arm’s length, covers the trigger object, you’re far enough away. If you can still see it, you’re too close. Turn around and go in the opposite direction.
If you can still see the ‘beast’ around your thumb, the ‘beast’ is too close for your dog’s brain to handle.
When you’re at ‘thumb distance,’ that’s the perfect time to drop a high-value treat. You’re rewarding the calm observation before the explosion happens
Distance is your friend
No matter what sends your dog into berserker mode, there’s always a safe distance to stay below threshold. It’s going to be different for every dog, so you’re the one who has to pay attention and figure out whether “thumb-covered” is far enough away. Whether it’s bicycles, other dogs, squirrels, people, or even nannies floating by on umbrellas, there’s a safe zone where your dog can watch calmly.
Finding your dog’s safe zone will make your life easier. You won’t have to stay there forever. The goal is making wherever you go part of the safety zone. But identifying it, no matter how tiny, gives you a starting point. And your safety zone is the perfect spot to do a little focus work, like playing the “Touch” game.
Pro Tip: Your most difficult task in expanding the zone will be constantly scanning the environment. The more triggers you can avoid, the calmer your dog will be. You don’t have to be perfect, but every time your dog loses their cool is a step backwards. It’s definitely one of those “two steps forward, one step back” situations.
72 Hour Adrenaline Rush
A single doggy meltdown produces a rush of hormones, specifically adrenaline and cortisol, that can take up to three days to leave the dog’s system. That’s 72 hours when your dog is more stressed, overly stimulated, and hyper-aware.
In our neighborhood there’s a pair of German Shepherd Dogs that react negatively to every person and dog, whether we’re walking by their house or they’re passing ours. These dogs are always super-charged because they never, ever have a chance to flush the hormones from their systems. They are living in a permanent state of high alert.
That’s why you want to avoid those triggers as much as possible for as long as possible. Aside from the chemical change to the dog’s body, you want to develop emotional calm as a habit. Dogs are allowed to watch, notice, and pay attention to their surroundings. They’re not allowed to lose their sh** about it.
What is Trigger Stacking?
Trigger stacking is when a dog experiences multiple stressors within a short period of time, without an opportunity to recover. Think of it like a bucket filling up:
A trip to the vet…
A squabble over a toy…
A canvasser ringing the doorbell.
The bucket overflows..
Note: some trainers intentionally “flood” dogs with triggers in the (mistaken) belief it will “desensitize” the dog to those triggers. What it really does is cause the dog’s brain to shut down and send them into “fight or flight” mode.
Give your dog time to regain their equilibrium. If you keep them below threshold using the Rule of Thumb trick, your chances of actually reaching them multiply exponentially.
What would life look like if your dog was able to make good decisions? If they pondered the options and chose well? If they actually thought about consequences and opted to be “good?”
How much better would your partnership be if you didn’t always have to regulate your dog’s behavior?
It’s all possible. There’s a bit of effort and a lot of patience required. But you can do it!
Impulse Control Training Game
The best training game to teach your dog impulse control is “Whatcha Gonna Do?” It’s a variant of the game “It’s Yer Choice” developed by renowned trainer/agility competitor Susan Garrett. We’ve tweaked it a bit over the years. We’ve found that despite the long-term gains the game brings, few people are willing to stick with it to reap those benefits.
It’s worth it, especially when you only play for a couple minutes at a time. The tiny time investment has a tremendous payout. But the initial steps may be painful. (Please note that other games can be found in Book 4: Impulse Control.)
Steps of the game
To play “Whatcha Gonna Do?” all you need is a bunch of treats and your dog. Sit on the floor with your dog in front of you. Grab a handful of treats in your fist and hold your fist, palm up, in front of your dog, below their eye level.
At this point your dog is going to nibble on your hand. Paw at your hand. Start gnawing on your hand. It’s not going to be fun. It will be slimy. And it might hurt, especially if it’s a puppy with those needle-sharp teeth.
You don’t say anything. You especially DO NOT tell your dog what to do. The whole point of teaching them impulse control is so you don’t have to monitor their every action. If you give up now, you’ll be policing their every action for the rest of their life.
You may, however, squeak in pain if your dog’s nibble is very painful. But if you’re not in danger of losing a digit or some blood, keep your mouth closed.
At this point, you want to quit. It’s not working, it hurts, and your hand is all gooey. This is where many people give up. Don’t give up. Don’t say anything. Impulse control training games are worth it.
What’s the goal
Some dogs stay at this stage for quite a while. You may not accomplish anything at all the first time you play Whatcha Gonna Do? But you might. The first inkling of thought is when the dog takes a break.
At the first tiny interruption in the dog bothering your hand, they glance away, they hear a sound outside, they have to yawn, you reach into your fist with the other hand, grab a treat, and give it to your dog. Give the treat at arm’s length. This gives your dog the seed of an idea to step away from the hand.
Even if your dog stops bothering your treat hand for the tiniest fraction of a second, reward it from the other hand. At some point, after the dog gets an initial treat, they’re going to start wondering how to get more of those yummy nuggets.
Some dogs catch on quickly and start backing off, leaving the treat hand alone. Others are blessed with dogged persistence and take a while. But every single dog can learn to leave that treat hand alone. They can, eventually, understand the underlying bargain of dog training. They get what they want when we get what we want.
Don’t give up
Whatcha Gonna Do? isn’t designed to play for long. Forcing your dog to think is tiring for both of you. Giving them the freedom to choose, without you directing their action, stretches both of your limits. Regardless of progress, or lack thereof, stop playing after five minutes. Tomorrow’s another day.
In time, your dog will recognize the start of the game. When you grab some treats and sit on the floor, they’ll happily back off while you reach into the treat hand and reward them. That’s when you start the next step – open your hand.
The reason your treat hand is palm up is so that you can, in time, sit there with a whole handful of treats, clearly visible to the dog, and have them wait to be rewarded, like Booker in the still photo (after he’s practiced the game for a little bit). When you first start opening your hand, chances are your dog may lunge in to try to get them. Slam your fist shut, as in the little video below. Don’t say anything. Not even a “whoopsie!” The whole point is demonstrating to the dog that their decision, good or bad, drives the action of the game.
Eyes on the prize
Eventually, when your dog understands the game, you’ll be able to sit there with an entire bowl of treats on the floor, and your dog will do all kinds of cute things to get you to give, or toss, a treat to them. Dogs trained with positive reinforcement have an entire repertoire of tricks they’ll run through. Each time your dog does something that isn’t bothering your treat hand, reward it.
Dogs always do what’s most rewarding for them. Playing Whatcha Gonna Do? teaches the dog that the way to get rewarded is to control their impulses. Being a rude jerk gets them nothing. Thinking and acting politely gets them what they want.
Variations on a theme
Once your dog understands that being a nuisance gets them nothing, you can use “Whatcha Gonna Do?” in other contexts. If your dog is a counter-surfer, set up the training game. Be prepared to cover whatever’s drawn their attention up there and wait. When they give up and have four paws on the floor, toss a treat into their corner of the kitchen. Whenever your dog’s being rude, you can apply the principles of “Whatcha Gonna Do?” to the situation. Impulse control training games are worth it: when you require your dog to act thoughtfully, they can and do live up to expectations.
You can’t look in your own ear. It’s impossible to go faster than the speed of light. And you’ll never know “why” your dog acts the way they do.
Say your dog is afraid of men wearing hats. Especially if it’s a rescue dog with an unknown history, people might assume the dog was abused by a man who wore a hat. Maybe. But you’ll never know. And it doesn’t matter.
Addressing the dog issue
There are three ways to cope with whatever issue your dog may have.
You can ignore it. If it doesn’t matter to you that your dog pulls like a tugboat, it’s nobody else’s business. Your dog, your house, your rules.
If the problem is a minor annoyance, but not worth a lot of effort, you can manage it. We know someone whose dog always emptied the bathroom wastebasket. She managed the issue by keeping that wastebasket empty. It was a little disconcerting the first time she dashed in to empty it as soon as we vacated the room. That was how she handled the situation. We stopped using that wastebasket, too.
The third, best, most long-lasting, and most difficult way to cope with dog issues is by training them away. If it’s important to you, it’s worth it. If, like us, you live where everyone wears hats all winter, you don’t want your dog freaking out every time you go out all season long.
Familiarity breeds disinterest
Since we don’t know why the dog does what they do, you have to treat the symptom without looking for the cause. That doesn’t mean it can’t be cured. It just means the process may involve some trial and error.
If our friend had wanted to fix her dog’s basket-emptying obsession, the first step is to figure out if it’s the “what” or the “where.” If the dog ignores the wastebasket when it’s in another room, it’s the where. If the basket is equally interesting in the living room, it’s the “what.”
For the where, you take your dog in the bathroom and play “Get it / Leave it.” For the what, play the game in the living room with the basket nearby. You can add on to the game by dropping something in the basket when you say “Leave It!”
Once your dog knows the game and how to “Leave it!,” the problem will dissipate. It won’t be interesting any more.
Cultivate boredom
Your reaction to your dog’s naughty behavior is a major factor in whether it happens again. If you, like our friend, react immediately, the dog figures it’s a fun game that gets your attention. If you ignore the tissue on the floor and leave the vicinity, the dog fails in the bid for attention.
It may result, in the short term, with your dog eating some tissue. Unless it’s an excessive amount, figure “this, too, shall pass.” (Empty the basket when the dog isn’t around.) You’ll never know the “why.” It’s very human to look for cause when there’s an effect. It’s why puzzles are big business and mysteries are popular. But your dog will never be able to tell you “why.”
Seeing your face signals your dog to stop. Don’t believe it? It’s easy to test. Invite your dog to run with you. You’re both going along together, facing the same way. If you suddenly stop and look at your dog, they’ll stop, too. And stare you in the face.
When you have a conversation with another person, it’s considered polite to look at them. Dogs are the same. Your dog always wants to see your face.
In some ways, that’s a wonderful thing. Doesn’t everyone make funny sounds to get dogs to look? And if we get the adorable head tilt, we keep doing it.
Not always what we want
There are times, however, that you don’t want your dog to stop and look at you. You’d think that calling your dog to “Come!” is easy and natural.
It’s not. If you’re standing still, facing your dog, and call them, they may not move an inch. They can see you, but your face is a stop sign.
Motion triggers motion
When this happens, most people will sweep an arm back, encouraging the dog to move. It usually works. It also means that your dog doesn’t have a reliable recall.
In Obedience competition, the rules require you to stand absolutely still when you call your dog. You can’t do any of the things that come naturally. You can’t back up a step, pat your leg, move your head. Any handler motion when a verbal command is used is considered a “double command” and not allowed.
This exercise, done correctly, demonstrates that your dog knows the word and what to do when they hear it.
Good to know
Most people aren’t competing in Obedience. They just want their dogs to come when called. The easiest and fastest way to teach that is the Chase Recall. Your motion spurs your dog to move.
It’s true with all dog behaviors. One of the most difficult parts of “Stay!” for dogs is sitting still while you walk around. Most dogs will either swivel on their hindquarters to keep watching you, or get up entirely.
Take advantage
Knowing that your dog always wants to zero in on where you’re facing, you can use that to direct your dog’s learning. When teaching “Place!” you stare at the dog bed. Your interest in an object will make it intriguing for your dog.
That’s the principle that lots of our games are based on. The ones that involve manipulating objects start with you staring at the object. The ones that require the dog to move somewhere start with you looking there.
We tried it today. One of the behaviors we teach our dogs is to walk sideways. When facing each other, the dog’s natural tendency is to move their front legs in line with us, but their back end tends to go crooked. Today we tried the behavior looking at where we’re going (to the side) rather than at our dog. It works.
Watch where you’re going
When we were learning agility handling, one of the first things we were taught was that dogs will follow your shoulder. They go where your shoulder indicates. If you’re running or walking straight ahead, keep your shoulders square. If you’re moving to your right, that’s where you orient your upper body.
Your dog is attuned to every move you make and is keenly aware of your body language. If you can’t figure out why your dog is moving a certain way, check yourself. You may be giving them a signal you don’t intend. Like looking straight at them when you want them to keep moving.
How much of a control freak are you with your dog?
As the dog trainer associated with a doggy day care facility, the staff sometimes asks Hope to consult with a dog owner that has some issues in the play group.
Not long ago, she talked to the owner of a dog that was, putting it mildly, inappropriate with other dogs and staffers at day care. While the play supervisors had repeatedly mentioned the problems to the owner, the dog’s person dismissed their concerns.
Not a fun phone consult
The dog repeatedly charged at and nipped other dogs, even staff, trying to get somebody to play with her. They weren’t casual invitations, and the dog wouldn’t take “No!” for an answer. The dog clearly had no idea of manners.
When Hope finally was able to speak with the owner, his answer was “She always does what I tell her.”
And that, right there, is the problem. If you always tell your dog what to do, what happens when you’re not there?
Banned from daycare
This particular owner clearly had no interest in training his dog to learn impulse control or manners. He thought it was adequate “training” that she obeys him. It didn’t concern him that the rest of his family couldn’t get the dog to obey. It didn’t bother him that the dog has no manners in day care and doesn’t listen to the staff. The dog was banned from play groups.
The kind of blind obedience this man requires from his dog may suit him. Decades ago it may even have been the norm to be a dog control freak. Now, it’s not good enough.
Giving up control
Letting your dog exercise some autonomy makes life easier. Teaching them to make good decisions, giving them credit for controlling their impulses, frees you to enjoy your time together. It’s stressful to always be the one making every choice for everybody.
There’s no helping the control-freak man. We tried, and were unable to convince him of the benefits both he and his dog would experience. His repeated response was “She does what I tell her.”
We agree that it’s easier to just tell your dog what to do. A friend of ours had major difficulty guiding her dog into making good decisions, rather than telling her all the time. This particular dog has major confidence issues. Both dog and person felt safer with the owner giving orders all the time. But that wasn’t helping the dog’s timidity.
Confidence boost
It’s scary ceding control to another being. But, with children and dogs, letting them make good decisions boosts their confidence. When your dog knows what’s expected of them, even when faced with unfamiliar situations, they’re more likely to demonstrate good judgment.
It’s hard giving up control and allowing the possibility of mistakes. It helps the dog’s confidence when errors are overlooked rather than punished. They try, and try again, mostly because it’s fun to finally get it right.
We couldn’t help the day care dog. Our friend, on the other hand, won High In Trial in Obedience with her dog last weekend. Patience pays.
