Teach, don’t tell, your dog

Your dog learns nothing if you’re always telling them what to do. You need to turn that around and teach, don’t tell, your dog. 

As an example, the most common dog issue we address every single class is dogs jumping up on people. Every time a dog jumps on someone, the dog’s owner tells the dog “off” or “down” and pulls on the dog to make that happen. If the dog’s on leash, they pull on the leash. Wearing a collar? They pull on the collar. If the dog’s naked, they grab the dog’s legs or shoulders to make it happen. 

Stop doing that. For two reasons:

  1. It doesn’t work. Witness the fact that you have to keep doing it.
  2. It teaches your dog nothing. Evidenced by the fact that your dog’s still doing it.

If you need more convincing that your current practice isn’t helping, try looking up Einstein’s definition of insanity. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.

Do this instead

It’s hard to teach any dog what “not” to do. Instead, give your dog an alternate greeting behavior that everyone will enjoy. How about you teach your dog to “Sit!” to say hello? 

Set up the situation by enlisting the help of a friend who won’t mind, and won’t get hurt, if your dog does jump on them. Arrange a time and place that your friend will come to your house or meet you. Have your dog on leash and as your friend arrives, tell your dog to “Sit!” Your friend comes over to you and your sitting dog. Both of you give treats, praise, and pets to your dog as long as they’re sitting. If the dog gets up or jumps on the friend, both of you immediately disengage with the dog, stay quiet, fold your arms across your chest, and stare at the ceiling. 

Your dog won’t know what’s happening at first. They may keep jumping, or nudging at either or both of you. Ignore it. Don’t say anything. Your dog may act a fool for a bit. That’s okay. Just wait. Sooner or later, your dog will figure out what was working and try it again. As soon as the dog is sitting, both of you praise, pet, and reward the dog. Make a big fuss for good behavior. Repeat as needed. 

Hold up your end of the bargain

Depending on the dog and the people, and how long the behavior’s been entrenched, it may take a few sessions to get the message across. Letting your dog think it through is the way to teach them, rather than tell them, how to act.

All dog training is negotiating with your dog. They get what they want (attention) when you get what you want (polite behavior). Dogs aren’t picky about the kind of attention they get. Dogs don’t distinguish between positive attention (praise, rewards, pets) and negative attention (shouting, corrections, punishment). As long as you’re paying attention to them, they’re happy. Pulling on them, yelling at them, kneeing them in the chest is all attention. That stops the behavior for the moment. But it’s a very temporary fix.

Take it out for a ride

It won’t really take long for your dog to get in the habit of “Sit To Greet!” for you and your friend. When your dog is successful most of the time, change the friend you practice with. Or change the place you’re practicing. Go to the friend’s house, or a different friend’s house. Let your dog know that the same behavior is good wherever you are, whoever you’re meeting.

When you think your dog’s understanding is pretty solid, go someplace you can recruit a couple dog-friendly strangers to reward your dog for polite behavior. Go to a pet shop, veterinarian’s office, grooming shop, or any dog-friendly place. When you ask people to help, explain what you’re up to and what you expect your dog to do. With our own dogs we’ve even set ourselves up outside a nearby commuter train station. In that situation, look for people not hurrying, who smile at your cute dog. Those are the ones most likely to help. 

Just ask one or two people, then call it a day. You don’t want to overload your dog. This kind of exercise, especially with strangers, can be stressful, stimulating, and exhausting for your dog. Having to think and control their impulses is hard work. You can judge how your dog is doing with a small sample. It takes a while for the taught behavior to become your dog’s first response. Give them time to get it right.

It will happen

Most of the dogs in our “Manners” classes jump on people at the start. And we offer ourselves as the “friendly stranger” every week. The first week, all the dogs jump on us and it takes a while. The second week, there’s usually an initial jump followed fairly quickly by a “Sit!” The third week, most dogs sit as soon as we head in their direction. 

What actually takes the most practice is getting the people to be quiet and stop physically manipulating their dogs. Common courtesy demands that we don’t let our dogs jump on other people. But in this case, we have to put politeness aside and let them be rude. When rudeness doesn’t work, the dogs engage their brains and try something else. So, we’ve seen that it doesn’t work if we just tell our dogs what to do. Teach, don’t tell, your dog.

Being a good dog boss

In all the ways that count, you actually are the boss of your dog. You decide pretty much everything about your dog’s life – when they eat, sleep, go out; where they go, who they see. Doesn’t it just make sense to want to be a good dog boss?

Think about all the jobs you’ve had and the bosses you enjoyed working for. We’d bet big bucks your favorites weren’t the  micro-managers who hovered over your shoulder. It was probably the ones who respected your abilities, left you alone to do your job, while being there for support, clarification, and feedback. Those were the good bosses. Follow their lead and be a good dog boss.

Decisions, decisions

It’s really hard to let go and trust your dog to make good decisions. But the alternative is having to be there every moment. Telling your dog what to do all the time. That works for some people. One Obedience person we know simply can’t find the patience. She’s been competing for decades, and for all those years she’s pretty much told her dog how to spend every moment of every day. She’s used to it, and doesn’t really want to change. We think it sounds exhausting.

Once your dog knows the rules of the house, does it mean they never misbehave? No, of course not. But when you yell “knock it off!” at whoever’s hooliganizing at the moment, it has more effect.

Firm foundation

Hope and Torque

Your dog craves your attention and approval. Once they know that being “good” comes with approval and treats, that’s what happens. They’re good dogs. Because what gets rewarded, gets repeated. Your dog will become a better-thinking companion when they know you encourage them to use their brains.

Having a well-trained dog leads to a more balanced life for everyone. We know several people whose lives with their dogs are completely off-balance. They can’t have people over, they can’t get deliveries, they can’t take their dogs anywhere, and their rooms have a strict system of gates and doors. These people have let their dogs dictate the rules of the house and have let the dog become boss. As a result, no one’s happy. 

At the other extreme, we’ve met a few people who treat their dogs like possessions. These dogs are kept in “storage” away from people, and are allowed limited access to family life. They may not have started out there, but the people may have become overwhelmed by the demands of having a dog. No one’s happy here, either.

We’re not sure why these people have dogs at all.

Big, beautiful life

Every moment you spend training your dog, every training game, pays off in the quality of your life together. The cost / benefit ratio is overwhelmingly in your favor. Just a couple minutes at a time, a couple of times a day, can make a huge impact.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could carry the heavy, hot pan to the table from the oven without worrying about where you step? Answering the doorbell, knowing your dog is safely in their “Place!” is priceless. (Ebook / course #1: Clicker and Place) These little things are quality-of-life moments you can achieve. Taking your dog’s good behavior for granted is the ultimate goal.

Why dogs can’t use forks everywhere

What an odd thing to say! Of course dogs can’t use forks. Why is that relevant for dog training?

It came up the other day when a new student of ours asked “Why does my dog know this stuff at home and not here?” (Patience, we’re getting to the forks part.)

It’s a good question, and one that addresses a fundamental difference between the way people think and the way dogs think. People generalize. Dogs don’t. 

What does that mean? Basically it’s that your dog knows “Sit!” in the kitchen at home with you facing him/her and holding a treat. It’s knowledge in context, with a specific set of conditions. Change the conditions, and the knowledge isn’t there. Try it outside, or at training class, and your dog has no clue what the word “Sit!” means.

For people, it’s different. (Here come the forks!) Once you know how to use a fork, you know how to use every fork in the world, regardless of where you are, what the fork is made of, or what it looks like. A fork with only two tines? No problem. Plastic, bamboo, or metal? Not an issue. Your knowledge of “fork” expands to include all forks, everywhere.

Getting past the problem

The solution is to vary your training so that your dog learns to generalize. Randomly, wherever you are, tell your dog to “Sit!” And be prepared to reward when he/she does. If your dog doesn’t sit – just wait. Give them time to think and process. “We’re not in the kitchen, but the sound she’s making is familiar, and her hand up like that means she has a cookie.” Give the message time to make its way from your dog’s brain to their hindquarters. Be patient. And reward generously for success.

Just because your dog doesn’t, by nature, generalize doesn’t mean they can’t. But creating new ways of thinking takes some time and consistency. And the skill, once it’s attained, has to be practiced. Every command your dog learns has to expand in range. 

It sounds like a lot of time and effort, but it’s really not. Once your dog gets with the program, it’s easy and fun to try. Yesterday, while Fran and Simon were waiting around for Novice Obedience class to start, she gave him the “Troll!” command (from “Front!” the dog goes around to your right and goes between your legs, looking up at you). And he did it! Even though he’d never done it in that place before. 

Expand their horizons

One of the beauty parts of the 2-Minute Trainer method is that you can always back up. If your dog’s understanding of something is “iffy” in new circumstances, just go back as far as you need to. Whatever steps you took to teach the dog in the first place can be recreated. Your dog will most likely remember quickly: “Oh, I remember that now!” 

When you build a firm foundation for your dog’s learning, it’s not just easier to teach them to generalize. It also opens the pathways for learning new things and building on known skills. Creating variations of games also helps. For example: if you teach your dog to retrieve an Obedience dumbbell, what happens if you place it on the floor at a distance instead of throwing it? What if the dumbbell is on end, instead of on its side? Or if, instead of dropping it, you ask your dog to carry it while heeling? 

Teach dogs to use every fork

Practically speaking, dogs who absolutely know what they’re supposed to be doing will do it when asked, anytime, anywhere. Another example is the “Figure 8” obedience exercise. Most people train the exercise as it’s performed in competition: heel around two cones, crossing in the center, then halt. Then do it again. 

Training only the exercise as it’s required in competition means that the dogs are pattern trained. They can do the exercise all by themselves without their person. They don’t understand that it’s about paying attention to their person and heeling together as a team. The goal should be building your teamwork, not the mechanics of the exercise. 

Instead of the “real” exercise; put out three cones, or four. Go any which way, asking your dog to stay with you. If they don’t know where you’re going, they have to pay attention. Another variation on the behavior that grows your dog’s understanding.

Generally speaking

The joy and challenge of dog training is to build your dog’s understanding. When you see your dog “get” something you’ve been teaching, the feeling of pride, for both of you, is exhilarating. It may take patience to get there, but it’s worth it.

Did you mess up? Give your dog an “oops cookie”

Give your dog a cookie when you mess up.

If you’ve ever made a mistake and groaned, or muttered “ugh!,” your dog needs an “oops cookie.” It’s not that you’re not allowed to make mistakes. You are. Everybody is. It’s to let your dog know it’s not their fault.

Your dog thinks you are absolutely perfect. Everything you do or say is right in your dog’s eyes. Therefore, it’s inconceivable that you’re ever wrong. Or so your dog thinks.

If you’re human, that’s not true. But your dog doesn’t know that. Let’s keep it that way.

The most tell-tale sign that you’ve made a mistake is when you say “ugh!” or something less g-rated. But when you say something like that out loud, your dog thinks they did something wrong. Because you’re perfect in your dog’s eyes. So it must be their fault, or so they think.

Unless you convince them otherwise, your dog may get confused. They won’t know how to “fix” what happened, because they don’t know what went wrong. Some dogs worry about being right. If your dog’s one of them, they might shut down or disengage. 

When you make a mistake in your training games give your dog a treat. As soon as “ugh!” leaves your lips, reach for a treat and stick it in your dog’s mouth. It’s a “goof goodie,” or an “oops cookie.” It’s especially important if you’ve muttered something like “darn!” or something more colorful. Your dog doesn’t understand that you make mistakes, so they might take the blame on themselves.

Nobody’s perfect

Years ago, Hope volunteered as a reading tutor for adults learning to read English. As part of their lessons, Hope and the students took turns reading out loud. It was a complete surprise to the students that everybody (even Hope!) stumbles over words and isn’t perfect. And they were much less shy about their reading aloud when they understood that nobody’s perfect.

Unfortunately, your dog will never understand “it’s not you, it’s me!” So skim over the mistake by giving your dog a treat and moving on. Don’t dwell on whatever you screwed up. Just try not to do it again.

Move along, there

Whether you said the wrong thing, clicked at the wrong time, turned in the wrong direction, it doesn’t matter. Just start over or do it again. It takes a while to stop the inadvertent blurts when you mess up. Don’t dwell, just give your dog a goof goodie and get back to your training game. 

The nice thing is that your dog won’t question unexpected jackpots. They may not know why they got the oops cookie, but they also don’t care. If you’re like us, sometimes your dog gets a treat just for breathing. Or looking cute. Dogs are really good at cute. Chalk it up to cute.

Change your habit

It takes a long time and lots of conscious effort to change a habit. If you always say something to mark your mistakes, it’s going to take time to turn that around. You may not even know you do it. It’s another argument for recording your training games – and watching the playback. In the meantime, recognize when you’ve done it and give your good dog an “oops cookie.”

Don’t worry about breaking the dog

Training does not break the dog.

Some people hesitate to try training games because they’re afraid of breaking the dog. It’s not possible. You can confuse your dog. You can even frustrate the heck out of your dog. But whatever you get “wrong” can be fixed. And your dog will always forgive you.

Some dogs worry about getting things “right.” It takes loads of patience and encouragement to convince these dogs that it’s okay to try new stuff, experiment, play around with new behaviors and new stuff. People worry about getting it “right,” too.

We see it in our classes, especially when people bring their children to class. Kids often make terrific dog trainers, because they’re not worried about how they look, whether their dog measures up, or if they’re doing it exactly right. 

Here’s the thing – you don’t have to worry about it. If you’re training at home, your dog will love you no matter what you do. And the two of you will figure out what you meant together. If you’re out in public, no one’s looking at you. They’re all looking at your dog and how cute he/she is. And hopefully, how well-mannered and beautifully trained.

Get over yourself

Whether age or experience gave us the gift, we now completely own not caring what other people think. We train our dogs wherever we go. We’re as loud as we need to be. Your dog doesn’t care if you’re doing stuff right, or looking silly. He/she absolutely adores you. And your relationship with your dog only improves the more training games you play.

We’ve noticed in our classes how the person who works more with the dog gets closer to the dog. And the other family members can get a little jealous. Until they realize that your dog can have a different, unique, and tight bond with everyone in the family. Dogs are the epitome of unconditional love. There’s no limit on love. There’s enough for everybody.

Play with your dog

If there’s a particular training game you know would be beneficial for your dog, but you’re not quite sure if you’re playing it right – stop worrying! Do it the best you know how. If you want some clarification – ask us, send a video, post on our social media pages. We’re all over the place; Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, email. We check email and messages. 

If you want the help, we’re here. But as long as you and your dog understand each other, how you’re training, your way of playing the games, it’s just fine. It’s much more important that you play training games with your dog than the “mechanics” of the games.

Step by step

We try to explain each little step of every game. Demonstrations of the games are in our videos. While the way we do things works, it’s certainly not the only way of doing things. You won’t break your dog if you don’t follow the steps exactly. Your dog may jump ahead several steps. That’s terrific! You don’t have to plod through where it’s not needed. Or your dog may need an even smaller breakdown for some steps. That’s okay, too. Some people love math. Others enjoy history. Some people learn by reading. Others need out-loud presentations. As long as it works, go with it.

The more “tools” you have in your dog-training toolbox, the better off you are. As an example – taking and holding a dumbbell is part of Obedience competition at the Open level. Not all dogs are natural retrievers. Some take to the dumbbell right away. Others just don’t get it. There are lots of ways of teaching a dog to love the dumbbell. Hope’s French Bulldog Torque caught on just with a couple of clicker sessions. Simon, Fran’s Boston Terrier, learned just by watching the other dogs. One dog we know fell in love with the dumbbell when his person tied a string to it and slowly dragged it along for the dog to chase.

Don’t worry that it’s not good enough

The Carpenters had a hit song “Sing” with that lyric – “Don’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear. Just sing, sing a song.” Just train. Train your dog!

Wait for your dog

Are you a good enough dog trainer to wait for your dog? Do you give them the time they need to process and take action?

Everybody wants their dog to get things right. Especially when they’re out in public. It’s understandable. We all want the world to know how wonderful our dogs are. And they are. If they’re allowed the time they need.

We’ve said before that the hardest part of dog training is doing nothing. Just waiting for your dog can be agonizing. Whether it’s remembering something they should do, or trying something new, dogs need time to think, process, and react.

Building patience

Just this week in Hope’s Obedience competition class, one of the dog/handler teams had a moment. Jessie, a gorgeous Bouvier des Flandres, and his dad were doing the Recall. (Handler leaves dog in a sit/stay, walks across the room, turns and faces dog, calls dog, dog runs and sits in front of handler.) David called Jessie, who bounded across the room (good boy!). And stood in front of David. Just stood. (Image from akc.org.)

Hope told David to wait. To look at Jessie’s butt. And wait. Don’t say anything, don’t do anything, don’t move. Just wait. 

David and Jessie have been in class long enough that Jessie knows what he’s supposed to do. But Jessie’s young, and a bit silly and pushy. He tests what he can get away with. And, like every single person on the planet, David wanted to “help” his dog get it right. We could all see him itching to say “Sit!”

But he didn’t say it. And, after what seemed like half an hour to everybody, but was probably less than a minute, Jessie sat. David celebrated with his dog and everybody else cheered. We’re not sure if anyone else was holding their breath, waiting for Jessie, but we certainly were.

No matter how long you’ve been training dogs, no matter how well you know the dog, they’re still dogs. There can always be a surprise factor, a random distraction, a momentary brain glitch.

How do you know how long?

One of the questions people have is “How long should I wait?” The simple answer is “as long as your dog is still trying.” If your dog is still engaged, still happy to be playing the training game with you, keep waiting. But if your 2-Minute timer buzzes, keep waiting if you have some extra time. As long as your dog is paying attention, interested in the game, and not quitting on you – give them all the time they need. Wait for your dog.

Some of the very best training is achieved by letting the dog puzzle it through. We can all think of a situation where we figured out how to do something, instead of being told. And just by figuring it out ourselves, we knew it forever. Thinking through a problem cements the solution in your memory.

Did it work?

In competition class, everyone takes turns doing the Recall. We usually practice it two or three times. And it would be lovely if we could report that Jessie’s second turn this week had a triumphant, instantaneous “Sit!” That didn’t happen. Same thing – he ran over and stood in front of David. But this time, there was a difference in Jessie’s attitude. It was almost like he was asking David if he really meant it. David stood quiet and let Jessie think it through. Jessie sat.

The Best Dog Training Treats – soft, small, & smelly

We get asked all the time – “What are the best dog training treats?” or “What treats do you recommend for dog training?”

Like so many things in life, the answer is “It depends.” It depends on you, your dog, the resources available to you, your creativity, and flexibility. The only real rule is: Training treats should be soft, small, and smelly. Soft so you don’t leave crumbs all over. Small so your dog can swallow in one bite. And smelly so your dog’s irresistibly attracted to them.

Keep it special

best dog treats for training

One of our instructions for students in our classes is to bring lots of treats to dog training. And when they think they have enough for an hour-long class, double it. And we still always bring treats to supplement what they think is adequate. 

We also recommend your dog’s training treats are something they absolutely adore. And that it’s reserved for training. If it’s saved for training games, it will enhance your dog’s eagerness to play with you.

Similarly, when you want your dog to love something, use that precious flavor bite. Our dogs adore peanut butter. We save it as a special treat they get only in their crates. As a result, when they see us getting out the peanut butter jar, they stampede to their crates. Don’t get in the way – they’ll run you over and not look back.

Your dog decides

Your dog’s tastes decide the best dog training treats. Some commonly used human-food choices are cheese and hot dogs. Others are pretty weird. We had a student who took “soft, small, and smelly” to the limit. She used defrosted little popcorn shrimp. It worked for her. She didn’t mind handling them, and her dog loved them.

We’ve had a weirdo or two ourselves. Hope’s first French Bulldog, Dax, wasn’t very motivated in training. Until, in desperation to get her to tug something, Hope used a limp stalk of celery. It worked – she tugged like a maniac and loved it. 

It’s what your dog likes, and what you can handle, that decides on the best dog training treats. If your hands are always sweaty, or it’s hot where you live, cheese probably isn’t a good choice. If your dog has food sensitivities, only offer treats that you know won’t haunt you later. 

It’s a snack, not a meal

Nutritional value may not be the primary consideration for training treats. Unless you’re in a class, you’re only playing training games for a couple minutes at a time. For those couple of minutes, it’s not awful to give your dog “junk food.” It’s a snack, not a meal. After all, we’re training for the real world, not a sterile space with no distractions.

The irresistible treats we bring to supplement our students’ supplies are the cheapest, nastiest, dog food nuggets we can find. We get “semi-moist” dog food that comes in plastic packets. It reeks of garlic (which dogs love), and is unnaturally bright red. And dogs absolutely adore it.

One of our students had stopped on the way to class and purchased high-quality, nutritious treats. His dog had absolutely no interest in that broccoli of dog treats. After one sniff of the “junk food,” he had his dog’s complete attention the rest of class. 

Ideally, you’ll find the perfect blend of healthy and irresistible that works for your dog. Or you’ll mitigate the damage of junk food by making a “trail mix” of treats. Using a variety of treats and mixing them together is another way to keep your dog’s interest – they never know what the next morsel will be.

Don’t say No! Use a non-reward marker in dog training

One of the tools we use to train dogs is a non-reward marker. It’s a way of telling our dogs they’ve messed up, without saying “No!” or shutting them down. While not all positive reinforcement trainers are on board with using one, we find our dogs do better when they get feedback.

Positive is not permissive. Training a dog with positive reinforcement doesn’t mean the dog gets to do whatever it wants, whenever it wants. It means that while teaching dogs how to behave, you don’t punish them for not doing it. Positive reinforcement has been proven, in study after study, to be more effective long term, and result in more confident, smarter, happier dogs. 

If you’re not giving “corrections” or telling your dog “No!,” how do you let them know if they’re wrong? One way is to use a non-reward marker. It lets the dog know they’re not exactly right, and to keep trying to figure things out.

Non-reward marker vs. ignoring

In some training scenarios the ideal response is to ignore the behavior. In others, it’s to let the dog know what they’re doing wrong. How do you know which tool to pull out of your training toolbox?

In cases like barking, or jumping on people, the dog is generally looking for attention. Denying that attention by ignoring the behavior lets the dog know it’s not working. In these situations, the training part comes in as soon as the dog exhibits the behavior you want. Immediately when the dog is quiet, even if it’s for a nanosecond, praise and reward. As soon as the dog has all four feet on the ground, praise and reward. The dog gets what it wants (attention) when we get what we want (quiet, feet on the ground).

Other situations call for other training methods. If you and your dog are playing a training game, like “Put Your Toys Away” or “Ring Stacking,” your dog is going to make “mistakes,” or not get it right. In the early stages of teaching any game, it’s a good idea to keep up an encouraging dialogue, letting your dog know it’s okay to keep trying. 

Once the dog knows the game well, you can let them know they messed up with a non-reward marker.

What is a non-reward marker?

You can use any non-threatening phrase as a non-reward marker. Whatever comes naturally to you will work. Just make sure it’s something that doesn’t sound threatening, so no Klingon phrases. Something like “uh-oh!” or “oopsy!” is just about perfect. No one ever sounded angry saying “oopsy!” 

Some dogs will know they’re not right because they don’t hear the clicker. Others will need more feedback. Especially dogs who lack confidence may need to hear from you that they’re okay, but just not exactly on target. As long as your dog keeps trying during a session, they’re getting the reinforcement they need.

Having to use a non-reward marker repeatedly may mean the step you’re asking from your dog is too big. Try and think of a way to break down the behavior into smaller pieces. With some games your dog may leap to the end, jumping over many little steps you may have thought were necessary. Other behaviors will be clear as mud to your dog. Observing your dog’s eagerness to play, engagement during the game, and excitement for the “click!” will guide your training. Give your dog the time he needs to understand the game.

Sometimes just wait

Booker needs a non-reward marker for feedback when his actions aren't quite right.

Booker, Fran’s 10-year-old Boston Terrier, is a dog who gets a little exuberant and loses focus during training games. He needs the feedback of a non-reward marker to keep him engaged and playing the games we want to play. At some point during particularly movement-oriented games, Booker will get over-excited and forget what he’s supposed to be doing. Even if the game is only 2 Minutes long. The non-reward marker lets him know that he’s still playing the game with us, we’re still paying attention, and “good” behavior will be rewarded.

Torque, Hope’s 8-year-old French Bulldog, listens for the “click!” If he doesn’t hear it, he goes back to see what didn’t happen that was supposed to. Only occasionally does he need to hear a non-reward marker. For him, it’s more of a conversation: “Oh my goodness! What happened?” or “That didn’t work, did it?”

Use it if you need it

You know your dog best. If you think your dog needs the feedback that a non-reward marker will give, use it. See what phrase works best for you and your dog. Be sure it’s not one your dog finds off-putting or that will shut them down. You want your dog to keep trying. And be ready to reward when they get it right.

Getting to the “Aha!” moment in dog training

It’s the biggest joy. That “Aha!” moment in dog training that happens when the dog gets it and the dog’s owner sees it. When the team comes together in understanding that they can trust each other, work together, and achieve more than they ever imagined.

We got to see it just this week. This person has had dogs for years. She’s followed lots of different dog trainers and tried all different methods of dog training. And in one single session, she saw her dog change, think, learn, and grow. It was kind of wonderful to be part of it.

Let them think

We wish that these amazing training moments were video-worthy. But they’re not. It’s one of those things where you absolutely have to be there to realize something special is going on.

This person really, really wants her dog (a Portuguese Water Dog) to play the “Put Your Toys Away” game. The first step is to set something not-very-valuable to the dog on the floor. And stare at it. At first, the dog either bothers the hand with the treats, nudges the clicker hand, tries licking or whining to get the action started. The owner and I just wait, staring at the “thing.” In this case, it was an antler chew toy, which the dog doesn’t particularly like. Eventually, in his bid to make something happen, the dog accidentally touches the antler with his paw. Click, cookie near the antler.

The dog sits back and stares at us. What just happened? What did I do to get that treat? You can absolutely see the wheels turning in the dog’s brain. We go back to staring at the antler. The dog gets up and tries it again, licking, whining at the treat hand. Nothing. Turns and looks at the antler and slaps it. Click, cookie by the antler.

The “Aha!” moment in dog training arrives. The dog is starting to make the connection. Slap the antler, get a cookie. We’re over our three minutes by then, but the owner wants to keep going.

Next step

After three times pawing at the antler and getting rewarded, we know the dog has figured out that getting the treat has something to do with that object he doesn’t really care about. But he does care about getting treats. For the next step, to encourage growth of the game, we stop rewarding for using his paw. We’re looking for him to use his mouth to pick up the antler.

We could see him get a little frustrated – what worked before isn’t working now. Again, he sits back on his haunches. You can see him thinking. And he comes back to try something else. He mouths the antler! Click and reward. He does it again! Click and reward.

At this point, we’re well over the time threshold and call it a day. The next step will be getting him to hold the antler. Then move while holding it. Then take it to a basket or toy bin. Then drop it. Each little step matters. Some dogs will get it right away. Others may still be at the starting line. But, with your patience, every single dog will experiment to see what gets the reward.

When they know, they know

When you have a dog that’s accustomed to trying new things, thinking of solutions, and experimenting, you have a phenomenal companion and partner. Dogs become more confident, more social, better-behaved, and much more fun. And while the behaviors you learn together may go viral, the process isn’t exciting. Mostly what you’re doing is watching and waiting. The result is worth it. The owner, attuned to her dog, had an “Aha!” moment of her own. It was the first time she’d seen him think, solve, and grow before her eyes.

You can’t teach dogs “don’t”

There’s no way to teach dogs “don’t” 

“Stop! Don’t do that!” When you say it in “Mom Voice,” most children will freeze and stare at you. Whatever they were caught doing stops immediately. Dogs? Not so much. It’s practically impossible to teach a dog “don’t. That’s the biggest difference between talking to a toddler and a dog. 

You can't teach dogs "don't," but you can teach them to do something else instead of jumping.

That doesn’t mean dogs get away with unacceptable behaviors. But when someone asks how to teach their dog “not to jump,” it’s the wrong question. A better, faster, easier approach is to give the dog something else to do instead of jumping on people. (We educated our cousin how to refocus her dog from jumping not long ago.)

Instead behaviors

Think about it. All of the successful things you’ve taught your dog, from potty-training to complex tricks, are teaching them what to do. Not what not to do. If you just thought “Wait! Potty training is teaching the dog not to eliminate in the house!” That’s how you think of it. In fact, what you’ve trained your dog is where they should eliminate

It’s the same for any other dog’s naughty behavior. We teach our dogs to “Sit!” as a response to a doorbell ringing or a knock on the door. They’re doing something, instead of “not” jumping.

For a while, we believed our dogs knew how to “Leave it!” It’s what we used when their noses poked into the wastebaskets, or they obsessed over the place the bunny dove under the gate. What we really taught our dogs was to refocus on us and get rewarded. Instead of the negative “stop that” behavior intended, we got a “look at me” behavior. That realization changed nothing. We still got what we wanted. Our dogs leave the thing alone. And we still say “Leave it!” because that’s what we’re all used to.

Call it whatever you want

Do the dogs understand the phrase “leave it?” No. They understand that when they hear those words there’s something they’re supposed to do. As long as you’re consistent with the words you attach to behaviors, it works. Like Humpty Dumpty in Alice in Wonderland: “When I use a word… it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

So although the “Leave it!” command is phrased as something “not” to do, there’s actually a positive “something” to do attached. If there’s anything your dog does that you wish they wouldn’t, the most effective way to change the behavior is to give them something to do instead.

Works for all kinds of things

Changing how you phrase things gives you the ability to translate it into “dog.” Since you can’t teach your dogs don’t pull on the leash, instead train them to walk at your side. Rather than “stop counter-surfing,” teach them where their “Place!” is in the kitchen. Substitute “get your toy” for barging into someone coming in the door. 

Think about the things your dog does that annoy you. Be honest – every dog is occasionally annoying. Picture what you’d like your dog to do in those circumstances. Then you’ll have a plan to turn things around. What would you like him/her to be doing instead? And how can you make a training game out of it? Now you’re thinking like a dog trainer.