When your dog gets on your nerves

Does your dog make you crazy sometimes? 

Sometimes your dog gets on your nerves

Every once in a while, do you just want to be alone? Especially in the shower? 

Everybody has those days. And, over the last few months with more time at home, things that normally wouldn’t have bothered you are now getting on your nerves. It’s okay. It’s normal.

Perspective is everything

We saw a cartoon on social media the other day. In the first panel two people were talking on the phone. One said to the other something like “2020 was the worst year ever. Stuck at home for months!” In the second panel, two dogs are sitting together and one says to the other “2020 was the best year ever! My person was home all the time!”

For people, dogs are an important part of our lives, but they’re not our whole lives. We have family, friends, work, school, social groups, etc. Our dogs have us. 

Best life for everyone

We certainly don’t have to feel sorry for any of our dogs. They have fantastic lives, with little, if anything, to worry about. They have food, shelter, companionship. And no bills to pay.

For us, the responsibility gets to be a little much sometimes. Especially if we’re feeling stress in other aspects of our lives. We don’t mean to take our feelings out on our dogs, but sometimes they do get in the “line of fire” for our worries. Every once in a while, they just get on our nerves.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, as we all do sometimes, it’s okay to take a break from your dog. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means that you need some time to yourself. And, certainly, don’t start a training session when you’re feeling that way. (See this post: “Only 2 emotions allowed in dog training.”)

Take the time you need

For some of us, going for a walk with our dogs is a chance to relax, unwind, and be in the moment. We don’t have to think about anything, or pay attention to anything but breathing in some fresh air and meandering along. For others, it’s just as stressful as anything at home – you have to pay attention to traffic, or other people/dogs, etc. 

It’s okay to take a walk by yourself.

A friend of ours has been working from home since March, 2020. She has two dogs that she adores and who adore her. And for the sake of her sanity, she employs a dog walker to take her dogs mid-day.

Partly it was to help the dog-walker, who lost a good chunk of her business when the stay-at-home orders took effect. But the other part was our friend giving herself permission to be alone. Sometimes she takes a walk by herself while her dogs are out. Sometimes she just relaxes. But she takes the time for herself and her equilibrium.

Appreciating togetherness

Some difficult days we don’t even want to get out of bed. We want to pull up the covers and cuddle with our dogs. Because our dogs are much loved and important members of the family. Those are the days we need comfort and surround ourselves with those we love, including our dogs. 

There are other days we want to be alone. Every interaction feels like an intrusion. Those are the days when you grab your coat and keys, head out by yourself and take the time you need. Your dog will be waiting to greet you enthusiastically when you get back.

Be the Senior Partner

You and your dog make a great team!

You and your dog are a team, best friends, compadres. It’s a partnership – living together happily ever after. To make that true, you have to be the senior partner.

We meet lots of people whose dogs run their lives. They love their dogs and want them to be happy. So, if Fido doesn’t like company coming over, they don’t invite anyone over. If Fido doesn’t want to go to bed, they stay up. You get the idea. And we’re all guilty of bits of it.

But we’ll let you in on a little secret. Dogs don’t like being in charge. They’ll take the wheel if no one’s steering, but they’d rather be back-seat drivers!

Dogs love rules!

Dogs are addicted to rules and order. If your dog always eats at a certain time, have you noticed him getting discombobulated when Daylight Savings Time changes the clocks? No one told your dog, and he doesn’t much like it!

Another consideration is that dogs are akin to human toddlers. Taught to be polite, caring, and unselfish, they’re praiseworthy members of the family and a joy to be around. Left to their own devices, they can be selfish, rude, and destructive. 

Letting your dog decide the rules of the house all the time isn’t fair to either one of you. Once in a while, there’s nothing wrong with being tempted away from household chores by those puppy dog eyes begging for a game of fetch.

The problem arises when the dog makes the rules. If your dog is restricting your life, if you’re foregoing activities or opportunities because of your dog, things need to change. 

Both of you will be happier when you become the Senior Partner in your relationship with your dog.