Tag: calm dog

Teach your dog “Sit to say hello!”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your dog would sit to say hello?

If you don’t think it’s possible, you’re probably not going to believe you can get there just by playing a little two-minute game with your dog. You may have to play it a couple of times a day for about a week. But it works and you can do it!

Easier to start fresh

Normal certainly looks different today than it did a couple of years ago. When life was “normal,” most dogs were exposed to at least a few different people on a regular basis. Friends and family would stop by, and dogs learned to take their presence in stride.

Since we’ve had pandemic restrictions on travel and visiting, many people’s and dogs’ lives are less social. If this applies to your situation, this is a great game to play with your dog. Be prepared for times when your circle expands.

Luckily, you can play the game without anybody else around. All you need is you and your dog. And treats. Lots of yummy treats. Mainly for the dog, but you probably deserve some, too!

Get your dog excited

The first step is to get your dog all excited. It may seem counter-intuitive. To teach your dog how to be controlled and calm, you would think you start there – controlled and calm. Logical, except for one thing. It doesn’t work. Starting calm doesn’t teach calm.  (Now, this is different than teaching your dog to be calm when it’s just her and the family. That’s usually a more subdued starting point.”

When the doorbell rings, or someone comes in, chances are your dog will be excited. One of the charming things about dogs is how happy they are to see us – even if all we did was take out the trash. Your normal dog is going to be wildly happy to see whoever walks in the door. The objective is to get your dog to wiggle delightedly from a sitting position. 

In our house, it doesn’t take much for chaos and mayhem to break out. For unknown reasons, knocking on the counter sets Booker off, barking and jumping around, ready for zoomies. If your dog has a similar trigger, use it. Celebrate it! Say silly things like “Yes, get crazy!” “That’s my nutsy puppy!” “Dog, you are one happy puppy!”

Okay, it’s loud. Now what?

Fran taught the dogs to sit and say hello.
The dogs are rewarded for sitting and saying “Hello!”

Once your dog is happy, excited, and you’re starting to think the neighbors will complain, reward your dog. Then be still. Don’t say anything. Don’t move. It’s like you’re playing “Red Light, Green Light” and the light turned red. Become a statue.

If your dog is like most, she won’t know what the heck happened. She will stop, look around, try to see what’s changed. And then, if she’s like most dogs, she’ll sit in front of you, puzzled. Reward! Good puppy! Nice “hello!”

Then do it again. If she didn’t sit, you can whisper the word, without moving. If she does, reward and start again! 

Teaching “Hello!”

Achieving impulse control is one of the most difficult things for dogs to learn. By playing this reversed, doggy version of “Green Light, Red Light” you’re pairing the excitement of movement with its opposite. Using the word “Hello!” will associate it to the stillness of the sit.

A good portion of dog training is vocabulary building for our dogs. Once they understand what a word means, most dogs are happy to do it. If we teach them that “Hello!” means sit still, we automatically pair greetings with good behavior.

How to get your dog to calm down and relax

It’s the very first thing we “work” on with puppies – get your dog to calm down. Just like human children, puppies don’t really know when they’re over-tired. They’ll fight taking a nap, just like a toddler. You can watch their eyelids droop, but they just won’t relax. As they get more and more tired, puppies can get increasingly frantic. And your frustration grows. The dog needs to nap. And you need to grab a shower and a meal!

Puppies are little tyrants. If you allow it, they’ll take over every aspect of your life and schedule. They’re selfish little beasts, only caring about their own needs and wants. 

Frankly, if puppies weren’t so adorable your heart melts, there’d be no excuse for them.

Start with the basics

“Sit and accept praise” is one of the very first behaviors we teach with a new dog or puppy in the house. When the new addition gets you up at four in the morning and, after a potty break, decides it’s play time, you need a way of letting him/her know that’s not the way it’s going to be. 

Many trainers would have you stuff the puppy in the crate, maybe even cover it, and wrap a pillow over your head to muffle the complaints. The ear-piercing, howling misery. 

But we’re not believers in letting a dog or puppy cry itself into exhaustion. The dog doesn’t learn anything from that. Even at four in the morning, it’s time for a session of “Sit And Accept Praise.”

Not the most fun training game

Our very first dog training mentor preached this exercise, even before positive reinforcement was a “thing” in dog training. He is a good and wise man. 

This is probably the only 2-Minute-Trainer game that’s not really much fun for either of you at first. But it is part of the deal we make with our dogs. They get what they want when we get what we want. It’s a simple bargain, but an important one.

How Sit & Accept Praise works

Sit & Accept Praise is easy. With your dog wearing a collar, have him sit next to you. On the couch if it’s allowed. You get on the floor if it’s not. (As an aside: we don’t understand why people have upholstered furniture their dogs aren’t allowed to get on. But we think dogs are more valuable than any “stuff.”) (By the way – we also outline Sit & Accept Praise in our Puppy Basics. If you missed that, it’s no big deal, but you might want to get the free download for more great information.)

Sit and accept praise is the best way to get your dog to calm down.

Your dog may not want to sit next to you. That’s why he/she is wearing a collar. With your arm and elbow holding the dog at your side, thread a couple of fingers through the dog’s collar. Make sure your position is comfortable and that, if the dog fusses and moves, your fingers won’t bend awkwardly. The game may not be the most fun, but it also shouldn’t  hurt either one of you.. 

Then sit there, petting the dog with the other hand and speaking softly to him/her. Let your dog know that he’s a wonderful dog, and a good dog, and the handsomest dog in the world. If you’re a reader, read your book out loud. Just so your dog hears your voice being calm and gentle. 

That’s pretty much it. It’s easy to get your dog to calm down with this technique.

Dog’s not having it

When you feel the dog start to relax, you can ease the tension in the arm holding the dog at your side. Keep talking and petting. An occasional treat is fine, too. As long as the dog doesn’t get too excited by it. 

If, when you lessen the hold, your dog struggles, just go back to where you were. In time, your dog will learn that you mean it, it’s time to relax.

It may take more than one repetition for the message to get through. When your dog does relax, even lie down, give him/her a cue word that identifies the action. We use “relax,” so when our dogs’ tension eases, “good relax,” “nice relax, buddy,” “what a good relax.” That way, throughout the dog’s life, we can tell him to “Relax” and he knows what to do.