2 Minute Trainer

“Socializing” Isn’t What You Think

Do you like everybody you meet?

Nah. Us neither.

Do you think you should be friends with everyone?

No way!

Social = Polite

So why is it that we feel pressure to have our dogs “like” every person and every dog they encounter?

They don’t have to – any more than we do!

Dogs do have to learn how to behave politely in their world. That’s what “socializing” truly is. Teaching our dogs to cope with their surroundings without freaking out or behaving inappropriately.

Social = Calm and Attentive

Dogs are well-socialized when they can remain calm and attentive to you. That means you can walk down the street with your dog, go to the park with your dog, sit in your yard with your dog. And your dog won’t bark inappropriately, won’t jump on people, won’t chase cars (or bicycles, or skateboards, etc.), won’t lunge at other dogs, won’t chase bunnies (or squirrels, or cats, etc.).

We don’t know where the notion came from that dogs need to be “friends” with the world. Dogs don’t need dog friends. They don’t need to love every person. They need to know how to ignore all the distractions of life so your life together can be peaceful and calm.

We’ve always said that manners are the “social grease” that keep civilization running. We may not all like one another, we may not agree on everything. But we can all act politely and respect each other’s space.

A dog who is well-mannered in public is properly socialized. Ignoring strangers – both people and dogs – is perfectly acceptable, socialized behavior.

Finding the fix

You know how you can overlook stuff that’s right in front of you? Like the time you searched all over for your phone and you were holding it in your hand?

Traffic jam!

We’ve been suffering with a traffic jam at our house forever. We have a very narrow entryway from the back door of the house. And when we come in from the yard, all the dogs congregate in that narrow entry, waiting for their “go home!” treats.

Needless to say, with four dogs and two people trying to get into a space that’s not more than nine feet square, it got a little crowded. And a little tense.

Oh yeah, we’re dog trainers…

Then one day we remembered we’re dog trainers. We had to think of a behavior we could teach the dogs that would solve the crowding issue. And get them out of the doorway before bad weather arrives and coats, boots, and parkas are added to the mix.

It was a perfect opportunity to put our own 2-Minute-Trainer system to work.

We thought about what we wanted to accomplish:

get the dogs to move further into the kitchen and out of the doorway.
We pictured what we wanted the result to look like:
all the dogs lined up, sitting on a yoga mat.

We decided what we wanted to call the behavior:

Line Up!

We implemented the plan on our next entry.

When we called the dogs into the house, we immediately moved over by the mat for the Line Up! We called the dogs over, saying Line Up! As each dog stepped on the yoga mat we told him to “Sit!,” gave him a treat, and said “Good Line Up!”

All the dogs lined up, out of the entry way. — Simon, Booker, Torque, Tango

All of the dogs still sitting on the mat got a treat each time another dog joined the “Line Up.” So the first dog on the mat got the most treats! Now all the dogs dash over to the mat when they hear “Line Up!” And we go down the line rewarding each dog multiple times. When everyone’s inside and we’re done, we give our dogs their “release cue” – “Go!”

We solved the problem in just two days. So far we haven’t asked the dogs to maintain a particular order in their “Line up!” behavior, but that would be an easy addition if we want to add it later.

Dogs love routine and love knowing what they’re supposed to do. Giving them a better choice has reduced the aggravation of coming in the house. Seeing them all lined up, sitting like good boys, lets us enjoy coming home every single time.

Atten-shun! First things first

Hello???

Simon is not focused! Not ready to train. — Simon is too distracted to work at the moment!

You’re on the phone with a friend, telling a great story that is sure to get a huge response. You finish the story and – nothing. You realize that at some point your phone dropped the call and you’ve been talking to dead air for who-knows-how-long.

If you start a training session without first engaging your dog – you’re talking to dead air.

Distractions are all around us. To get the full effect of training, our dogs have to be paying attention. Don’t start your timer until your dog is meeting your eyes, paying attention, and has his/her “let’s play!” attitude on display.

Focus for you and your dog is harder some days

There are days when that’s more difficult to achieve than others. If you, or your dog, is having an “off” day – try something different. Go into a different room. Stand in a different place. Grab a different kind of treat. Start with a game of “tug.” Anything to shake things up.

We know that some of those things may be even more distracting for your dog. That’s okay. One of the objectives is to get your dog working with you no matter what else is going on. If your dog is excited, it may take a little longer for him to respond to your direction, or he may show you he’s not sure what you mean.

It’s OK to go back a few steps

That’s okay, too. Go back a step or two. Or start the session with something basic, like “sit.” If your dog does it, celebrate with him! Learning to work with you when he’s excited, even on the most basic level, is fantastic!

In our competition obedience classes one of the first things we teach our students is to “check with your dog.” Before any obedience exercise starts, the judge always asks “Are you ready?” And our students know this is the cue to meet their dog’s eyes, smile, and say “Yes!” or “Ready!” Unless the dog isn’t looking at them. Then the response is “not quite” and they get their dogs to focus.

Ready!

The word “ready” can also be a cue to your dog that the fun’s about to start – either in training, class, or competition. Train your dog to look at you when you say “ready!” by saying it and popping a big treat in his/her mouth when your dog’s eyes meet yours. Be sure you’re smiling when you say it so your dog knows you’re about to have some fun together.

Value is Relative

Just like people, dogs have preferences.

There are “low value” and “high value” rewards. That goes for all types of rewards; food, toys, even attention.

For instance, Hope’s Torque has a very consistent hierarchy of toys:

Torque LOVES balls. They are at the top of his toy reward hierarchy.

Squeaky rubber/plastic balls
Non-squeaky rubber/plastic balls
Tennis balls
Rubber/plastic squeaky non-ball toys
Non-squeaky, non-ball rubber/plastic toys
Squeaky soft toys
Non-squeaky soft toys

Drop it – maybe, maybe not!

So when Hope is working on “drop it,” which is extremely difficult for Torque, she can exchange a lower-value toy for a higher-value toy. But if she tries to go too far up the value scale, it’s not worth giving up the toy for anything Hope can offer.

There’s a treat value list for Torque, too:

Treat trail mix. — A nice mix of treats for rewards.

Hot dog pieces
Cheese
Freeze-dried Chicken Hearts or Turkey Gizzards
Cheerios (Honey-Nut is his favorite)
Kibble

Trade equal value rewards: toy for a treat

So Hope can trade a higher-value toy for a higher-value treat. But don’t try to swap a squeaky rubber ball for a piece of kibble – it’s not going to happen. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Your dog has a reward hierarchy too

Do you know your dog’s reward value lists? If not, it’s worthwhile spending a few minutes to figure it out. It may shed some light on what’s working particularly well in your training, and the reasons why some things may not be working right now.

High value rewards should be used for high value behaviors

Keep the highest-value rewards as a special treat for your dog when he/she achieves something that’s been challenging. Keep in mind that we’re not using any of these as lures. We’re teaching our dogs to make good choices. And rewarding them for success.

My puppy has a temper

He’s great, but …

It’s not easy learning that your puppy, in addition to all his wonderful qualities, has a temper and can be aggressive toward other dogs. Simon just turned one year old. He’s a tiny little thing, but has a HUGE personality and a hair-trigger temper. Once he’s had enough play (usually with my sister’s French Bulldog, Torque), it’s almost as if he says, “That’s enough! I’m done with you!” and turns into a snarling little demon.

It’s my job to fix that.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I have experience with turning an aggressive dog around. Tango, my 10-year-old Brussels Griffon, is much better now, but when I got him (at 11 months old) was reactive towards everyone. When Tango was young he hated everyone that wasn’t me. Even my sister. Since we live together, that was a big problem. Hope hand-fed Tango his dinner for weeks until he accepted her. He still wasn’t crazy about her, but we could all live together.

Work in progress

Day after day, week after week, month after month, even year after year, Tango’s training was a top priority. I knew that he could be an excellent agility dog but I didn’t want him branded as aggressive. We had to be able to walk together through crowds, down the street, through a parking lot when I had my hands and arms full of crates, treats, toys, and other paraphernalia. So, while we were going to class for agility fundamentals, I was also training him to be a good pet.

It was essential to keep him focused on me at all times. I was vigilant about our surroundings and noticed what was going on around us at all times. If anyone was approaching, I made sure to start a focus behavior. At first the approaching person / people / person and dog had to be at a significant distance. As Tango started accepting that other beings were allowed to exist on the planet, the distance could be slightly reduced. This was not a matter of days or even weeks, but months.

Focus phrase

A key phrase that I used to keep him focused on me was, “Cute dog!” I did not say anything at first – remember that we were at a significant distance. When Tango looked at me, I’d say our focus phrase and give him a yummy treat. If he kept looking at me, I’d give him another treat and say something like, “Yes, you’re the cute dog!” Eventually I could say the phrase when he wasn’t looking at me and Tango’s eyes would latch onto my face.

Why the phrase “Cute dog?” Even though Tango is small, I didn’t want people to see him as aggressive. People look at aggressive dogs differently. Their posture is different. But when someone sees a little fuzzy dog and hears that phrase, they’ll have a smile on their face.

Tango and I competed in agility for quite a few years, and he advanced to the Master level. We walked confidently through crowds at trials and Tango kept his attention on me. I still don’t trust him completely. I’m always watchful when we’re out and about, but he’s worlds better than he was as a puppy.

Phrase that pays – again

So now I have to train Simon to keep his attention on me. I’ll be training the “Cute dog!” cue and I’ll also be doing other small tricks to keep him engaged when we’re waiting for a red light on our walks.

Those small tricks? Fun stuff for treats, like hand touches, spins, simple position exercises.

And Simon is learning to come to me when I call him. That’s proving to be very useful when I see him starting to ramp up in his play.

I know that it won’t be done in a day, and Simon may never play nicely with dogs that aren’t in the family, but that’s OK. He doesn’t have to play with other dogs. And there’s no deadline for having a nice dog.

Don’t Wanna, Not Gonna

Training a dolphin is a lot like training a dog!

One of the doyennes of positive reinforcement training, Karen Pryor, is also the author of A Dog & A Dolphin – An Introduction to Clicker Training. At first, the similarities between the two species may not be apparent, but for training, they’re much alike – if you do it right.

Training = Training

At our favorite dolphin facility, the Dolphin Research Center in Grassy Key, Florida, we’ve been privileged to watch and participate in training sessions with the dolphins. With dolphins, you have to use positive reinforcement. If the animal isn’t interested and engaged, willing to play with you – he or she just swims off. There’s not a thing you can do about it.

Should be SO MUCH FUN!

Dogs are sometimes “just not that into it.” If your dog disengages and goes off sniffing, it’s time to switch gears. We don’t “make” our dogs play training games with us. We make the games, and ourselves, so much fun that they want to play with us.

If you’re working on a “come!” and your dog doesn’t, think about what you can change to make yourself more appealing. Don’t beg your dog to come to you – run away from him! Or get down on all fours and call her to crawl under you. Slap a toy on the ground and drag it. Be creative.

Some dogs get over-stimulated during play sessions. If that’s the case and your dog is barking at you or excited and not listening, just sit down, without saying anything, and wait for a moment of silence. Then whisper something. Or gently blow on your dog’s face to get his attention. If he or she is too “amped up,” your dog may not be able to focus on what you’re asking.

One of our training mentors, when a dog is barking uncontrollably in class, yells “Goku needs a hug!” It stops the behavior and gives the dog a chance to refocus.

Sometimes a “time out” is needed

If nothing else works, either call it a day and end the session, or give your dog a little “time out” in the crate. It gives you and your dog a little break and hits the “reset.” The break doesn’t have to be long – less than a minute will do. He or she may come out ready to play with you again.

If that doesn’t happen, chalk it up to a bad day. We all have them. Even our dogs. You’ll have another chance later, or tomorrow.

Yes, your dog is your baby

Whether you like the term “pet parent” or not, dogs are, in many ways, akin to human toddlers.

Consider these “Social Characteristics of Toddlers”

Toddlers are headstrong and negativistic.
They are naturally active, mobile and curious.
They are repetitive, rigid, ritualistic, and stereotyped in their behavior.
They tend to go into temper tantrums in order to control self and other.
Play is the work of toddlers. Through play they learn how to manipulate and understand their environment
Rituals increase in the toddler’s sense of security by making compulsive routines of simple tasks
Negativism can be countered by offering limited choices and the use of distraction in the handling toddlers whose favorite word is “NO”.

Sound familiar?

The reaction they get will determine whether they try it again

Training isn’t about controlling all aspects of your dog’s life. It’s about teaching him or her to cope with the world he/she lives in. Dogs like knowing what’s allowed and what isn’t. That doesn’t mean they won’t test the boundaries – just like any toddler. They will try to manipulate you, or “push your buttons” – just like a human toddler. The reaction they get will determine whether they try it again.

Say your dog barks at you. What do you do? If it’s a bark for attention – does your dog get it? Do you yell at him to “be quiet?” Do you bribe her to get her to shut up? Or do you ignore it?

Attention = Reward (for a dog)

If your dog was successful in getting you to pay attention – any kind of attention – the barking for attention worked and you’ll get more of the same behavior. Your dog tested and won. Even if all you did was get angry – you barked back and your dog got the attention he/she was craving.

If you ignored the behavior – either by continuing what you were doing or by leaving the vicinity, the barking didn’t work and you’ll probably see less of it.

Here’s a few seconds of the chaos and mayhem in our house before we told the dogs to knock it off:

Goof goodies

Everybody messes up. We’re human. It happens.

I goofed up! I should give my dog a "Goof Goodie!"

It happens in training all the time. We say the wrong thing, look the wrong way, click at the wrong time, turn in the wrong direction.

Guess what? You’re the only one that knows. Keep it secret from your dog!

When you make a mistake, give your dog a treat. Reward with a “goof goodie!”

Why?

It keeps your dog from thinking that it’s his/her fault.

Think about it. What’s everybody’s first reaction when they screw up? They sigh, or say “ugh” (or worse). How does your dog know you’re not talking to him? Whenever you’re together, you always talk to her!

A dog trained with positive reinforcement probably won’t repeat something that hasn’t been rewarded. And may avoid doing things that got a negative reaction. So if we say “dammit” out loud, the dog thinks we’re talking to him. And, because he’s a very good dog, he won’t do it again. Even if he was right and we were the ones that screwed up.

You may know you’re talking to yourself – metaphorically slapping yourself. But your dog doesn’t. And she’s the only other one there. Let her know she’s good.

Give her a Goof Goodie and let it go. You’ll do better next time.

Be the Senior Partner

You and your dog are a team, best friends, compadres. It’s a partnership – living together happily ever after. To make that true, you have to be the senior partner.

We meet lots of people whose dogs run their lives. They love their dogs and want them to be happy. So, if Fido doesn’t like company coming over, they don’t invite anyone over. If Fido doesn’t want to go to bed, they stay up. You get the idea. And we’re all guilty of bits of it.

But we’ll let you in on a little secret. Dogs don’t like being in charge. They’ll take the wheel if no one’s steering, but they’d rather be back-seat drivers!

Dogs love rules!

Dogs are addicted to rules and order. If your dog always eats at a certain time, have you noticed him getting discombobulated when Daylight Savings Time changes the clocks? No one told your dog, and he doesn’t much like it!

Another consideration is that dogs are akin to human toddlers. Taught to be polite, caring, and unselfish, they’re praiseworthy members of the family and a joy to be around. Left to their own devices, they can be selfish, rude, and destructive.

Letting your dog decide the rules of the house all the time isn’t fair to either one of you. Once in a while, there’s nothing wrong with being tempted away from household chores by those puppy dog eyes begging for a game of fetch.

The problem arises when the dog makes the rules. If your dog is restricting your life, if you’re foregoing activities or opportunities because of your dog, things need to change.

Both of you will be happier when you become the Senior Partner in your relationship with your dog.

Get Over It

Why does my dog hate women with hats? We'll never know.

We’ll never know why.

Why does my dog hate umbrellas? Why does my dog react to women with hats? Why does my dog not do stairs? Or chase cars? Or eat poop?

For all the million and one things that we hear – there’s no answer. And it’s really, really hard, but you have to let it go.

Dogs can’t talk

Your dog will never be able to tell you why she loves the UPS delivery person but hates the mail carrier. Or why he cringes when you pick up a magazine. You can speculate. “He’s a rescue – maybe somebody did something at some time that caused it.” But that doesn’t help. And, at this point, it’s an excuse.

Don’t excuse

Whenever you try to justify whatever the behavior is, you’re excusing it. Be honest with yourself. If you accept any behavior that’s not ideal; fearfulness, shyness, even aggression, you’re making an excuse. To help your dog live his/her best life, you have to deal with what is.

If your dog is afraid of something, turn it into something terrific. A few years ago, the training hall where our obedience club held classes had an overhead heater that was noisy and turned on with an explosive sound and fan. One of the Golden Retrievers in class would shy away from it, refusing to go anywhere near it, almost frenzied to get away from that part of the room.

We made a plan and turned it around. Whenever the heater came on, Sassy’s owner would stop whatever she was doing with the class, move far away from the heater, and start giving Sassy treats. Telling Sassy she was wonderful, and brave. When Sassy calmed down, she would rejoin the class.Over time, they got closer and closer. By the end of the session, when the heater fired up Sassy would run to sit right underneath it to get her treats.

Make a plan

You can modify your dog’s reaction to any situation. All it takes is a plan, and time. Think about the reaction you want from your dog, and the steps you’ll need to climb to achieve it. You can do it!