When your dog gets on your nerves

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Does your dog make you crazy sometimes? 

Sometimes your dog gets on your nerves

Every once in a while, do you just want to be alone? Especially in the shower? 

Everybody has those days. And, over the last few months with more time at home, things that normally wouldn’t have bothered you are now getting on your nerves. It’s okay. It’s normal.

Perspective is everything

We saw a cartoon on social media the other day. In the first panel two people were talking on the phone. One said to the other something like “2020 was the worst year ever. Stuck at home for months!” In the second panel, two dogs are sitting together and one says to the other “2020 was the best year ever! My person was home all the time!”

For people, dogs are an important part of our lives, but they’re not our whole lives. We have family, friends, work, school, social groups, etc. Our dogs have us. 

Best life for everyone

We certainly don’t have to feel sorry for any of our dogs. They have fantastic lives, with little, if anything, to worry about. They have food, shelter, companionship. And no bills to pay.

For us, the responsibility gets to be a little much sometimes. Especially if we’re feeling stress in other aspects of our lives. We don’t mean to take our feelings out on our dogs, but sometimes they do get in the “line of fire” for our worries. Every once in a while, they just get on our nerves.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, as we all do sometimes, it’s okay to take a break from your dog. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means that you need some time to yourself. And, certainly, don’t start a training session when you’re feeling that way. (See this post: “Only 2 emotions allowed in dog training.”)

Take the time you need

For some of us, going for a walk with our dogs is a chance to relax, unwind, and be in the moment. We don’t have to think about anything, or pay attention to anything but breathing in some fresh air and meandering along. For others, it’s just as stressful as anything at home – you have to pay attention to traffic, or other people/dogs, etc. 

It’s okay to take a walk by yourself.

A friend of ours has been working from home since March, 2020. She has two dogs that she adores and who adore her. And for the sake of her sanity, she employs a dog walker to take her dogs mid-day.

Partly it was to help the dog-walker, who lost a good chunk of her business when the stay-at-home orders took effect. But the other part was our friend giving herself permission to be alone. Sometimes she takes a walk by herself while her dogs are out. Sometimes she just relaxes. But she takes the time for herself and her equilibrium.

Appreciating togetherness

Some difficult days we don’t even want to get out of bed. We want to pull up the covers and cuddle with our dogs. Because our dogs are much loved and important members of the family. Those are the days we need comfort and surround ourselves with those we love, including our dogs. 

There are other days we want to be alone. Every interaction feels like an intrusion. Those are the days when you grab your coat and keys, head out by yourself and take the time you need. Your dog will be waiting to greet you enthusiastically when you get back.

How to achieve stress-free car rides with dogs

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Do you dread having to take your dog anywhere? Does your dog’s car anxiety stress you out, too? 

Over the past year, most of us have been spending more time at home. We’ve haven’t been going much of anywhere, and neither have our dogs.

Our dogs familiarity with travel and car rides has lessened, and even those dogs who were accustomed to going places and doing things may now get nervous.

Name of the game

Booker and Tango are accustomed to the car and going places.
Pre-pandemic, Booker and Tango frequently rode in the car with Fran to trials and on road trips.

Familiarity is the key. Dogs, like us, get nervous in unfamiliar situations. Car rides with dogs qualify, especially if the only place the dog goes is scary.

Think about it from the dog’s perspective. If the only time he/she gets in the car is to go someplace where scary and/or painful things happen, you’d hate the car, too. Veterinary care and grooming are both necessary for our dogs, but neither is fun for the dog. Hope and Fran knew when they got puppies that as grown-up dogs they would be spending a lot of time in the car – going to obedience, rally and agility trials as well as on road trips, so they translated their crate training from the house to the car.

To turn things around and achieve stress-free car rides, start slowly, from the beginning.

Make it fun

Start where your dog’s anxiety begins. If he/she is nervous getting near the car, walk him her around the car, chattering calmly to your dog and delivering treats. Or play with a favorite toy near the car. Open and close the doors, all the while playing or rewarding for calm behavior. 

Don’t force the dog to get closer, let them take it at their own pace. Coddling isn’t required – it’s not okay to be scared. Speak calmly and encourage exploration, but don’t force it and try not to get frustrated. You know there’s nothing to worry about. The task is to convince your dog that’s true.

Step by step

Like all 2-Minute training games, after a couple of minutes, you’re done for the session. You can come back to it later, but give your dog time to absorb the fact that he/she had fun near the big, scary, noisy thing.

When your dog is fine around the car, have him/her get in it. Again, give treats or play with a toy for a couple minutes. Reinforce for your dog that the car is a positive place.

When your dog can enjoy the treats or toy in the car, hook him/her up to whatever restraint you use in the car and have another play session. At this point, if you have another person who can help, one of you get in the driver’s seat while the other plays with, or gives treats to your dog.

Noisy scary

The next step is to have the dog in the car and turn on the engine. Make sure you’re outside, or the garage door is wide open to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning. Play or treat for a couple minutes. If you don’t have a helper, give your dog a treat-filled toy. Use a high-value food stuffed in the toy – peanut butter or spray cheese work well for most dogs. 

If your dog is able to focus on his/her chew or treat toy, you’re well on your way to stress-free car rides with your dog. Take a short ride around the block and back home. As you’re able to take your dog in the car for longer periods, try going to a park or somewhere dog-friendly and playing a fun training game as we discussed in the post, “Take it on the road …”

Building on success

Stay at whatever step as long as you need to. If your dog is too nervous to take treats or play, stay there until she gets more comfortable. A nervous glance, then back to the game is fine. Rejecting the treats/toy due to nerves means your dog has reached his/her limit and you may even need to go back a step.

When you are able to progress to actual trips, be sure you go fun places where nothing bad happens. Take your dog to a park and go for a walk. Or a pet shop and let him/her choose a new toy. Then straight home.

Accentuate the positive

You can replace anxiety with anticipation if you teach your dog, step by step, that there’s nothing to worry about. As your dog gets used to new things, they’re less scary. If you make car rides routine fun, you’ll have stress-free car rides with your dog.

Tired dogs lose focus

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You’re having fun playing a training game with your dog. It’s going great and you’re having fun. And all of a sudden, it seems like your dog’s brain has fallen out of his skull.   

Stuff your dog knows is just gone. It’s like you’re speaking a foreign language. What’s your dog trying to tell you?

Case in point

It happened to Hope and Torque recently. Fran, watching the session, saw the sudden drop-off in focus and precision. It took her observation “I think he’s tired” for Hope to realize it was time to call it a day.

We play training games with our dogs every day. And, since we expect that competitive obedience, rally, and agility will be back one day, some of the games are preparation for that day. 

We set specific criteria for all the games we play. When we’re playing “put your toys away” the toy has to go in the bin. For our version of “Quoits,” the ring has to go over the post. And for our Obedience and Rally games, we aim for “perfect” execution of each exercise. 

Sloppy is not acceptable

“Perfect” means that on the recall or “come,” our dogs sit directly in front of us, not shifted to either side. It’s one of Torque’s best things, after lots of recall games over his lifetime.

This is an example of Torque's perfect "front." He's perfectly straight and looking up at Hope.

On this particular day, Hope and Torque were well into their session, and it had been going great. His recall was fast and his sit in front of Hope was straight and square. Then, all of a sudden, he was lining up by her “cookie” hand. He lost focus and got sloppy.

Give it a rest

Hope’s first thought was “try again!” But, with Fran’s observation, she knew it was the wrong thing to do. Piling more on top of sloppy achieves nothing. It’s tempting to keep going and try to “fix” things. But if your dog is tired and loses focus, you can’t fix anything.

That’s one of the reasons it’s better to quit, or change gears, than keep going. You don’t have to end on a good note. Our dogs don’t know the session didn’t go well. They just know that game is done for now. They may not have gotten as many rewards as they would have liked. But that’s always their opinion.

Also – you’re the one who knows your dog best. You know when he’s being sloppy and losing focus. At the other end of the spectrum is Fran’s Booker, who always has trouble focusing (see our post “Special dogs need routine even more.”)

Good information

Even the dog training games that don’t go well give us good information. In this case, Hope learned that Torque has a limit for recalls. In future sessions, she’ll sprinkle other games between the recalls. Varying the games, even in a short, two-minute session, keeps everyone fresh and interested.

Don’t let your dog hide

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It’s natural for people to protect small, young things. We have an instinct to take care of those more vulnerable. Don’t give in to it! Don’t let your dog hide!

Downsized dog

Don't let your small dog hide.

Hope is working now with a friend/student who has always had Sporting dogs; Weimeraners and Viszlas. She’s a bit older now and chose to “downsize” by getting a Miniature Poodle. It’s a wonderful choice for her, since Poodles are also Sporting dogs, originally bred as water retrievers. They’re also incredibly smart dogs.

Smart dogs will learn very fast what works for them and what they can get away with. If it works once, they’ll repeat it. If it keeps working, they’ll always do it.

Works for him

Our friend Sue, in addition to working with Hope, is also taking a pet-store puppy class with her four-month old Poodle Darwin. It’s the only current option, during the pandemic, for making sure her puppy is socialized to work with her in the presence of other dogs, people, and lots of distractions. It’s a good idea.

Sue was telling Hope how their class was going and reported that Darwin did great. He stayed under her chair and watched all the other, bigger puppies. 

She was surprised when Hope let her know that was exactly the wrong thing to do.

Don’t let the puppy hide

It’s Sue’s first small dog and, like most adults, her first reaction is to take care of him and protect him from possible threats. But there was no threat – just other puppies.

Sue should have stood up, encouraged Darwin to move with her, and let him observe from a position next to her. We’re not saying he has to “dive in” to a puppy scrimmage, or charge into a new situation. But he does have to learn to trust that Sue won’t take him into danger and he can watch, assess, and still be safe without hiding.

A previous 2-Minute Tip addressed the very topic: “By rewarding fear, are you training your dog to be shy?”

Safe space

We advocate the use of crates for dogs for many reasons. One is that a crate should be the dog’s safe space. At dog shows and trials, you’d see almost every single dog competitor, when he/she isn’t showing, relaxing in a crate. It’s the “dressing room” where they can relax between appearances.

Hiding behind “mom” isn’t the same thing. The puppy isn’t relaxed and waiting. He/she is shy or tentative and using mom as protection. Allowed to continue, this can lead to lifelong timidity and even fear aggression. Some fearful dogs lunge out of their hidey-holes to attack anything that gets too close.

Sensible but not smart

It never occurred to Sue that letting Darwin hide underneath or behind her was a bad idea. She truly thought he was quite brilliant for seeking, and finding, “protection.” She was pleased when he came out to participate in the class lessons, and when he retreated back to his hidey-hole when the exercise was over.

It’ll take some conscious thought (and Hope’s nagging) to turn around Sue’s natural “mom” reaction to protect. Darwin is little and adorable. But in order to let her dog live his biggest possible life, she must learn that little dogs are still dogs. Hiding isn’t allowed. Exploring the world is good. And she’ll always be there to make sure nothing bad happens to him.

Why does my dog love other people more?

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Does your dog love other people more than you? Does he go running to a favorite person, leaving you abandoned and standing all alone?

Before you get frustrated, jealous, or start trying to woo your dog back, try to decipher what’s actually going on.

You adore that person

Why is Simon running to someone else?
Why is Simon running to someone else?

One of the most likely explanations of the situation is that you adore that person and your dog is picking up on your delight in seeing him/her. Our dogs have excellent antenna for our feelings. If someone makes you happy, chances are that person will make your dog happy, too. 

These days, we can’t always hug people we care about – but our dogs have no concept of social distancing and can go rushing in where people fear to go.

Recognizing “dog people”

Dogs in our shop’s neighborhood know we’re a great place to stop. There are a few who even pull their owners/walkers in our direction. Dogs have great memories and know they’ll get a treat and a scritch when they stop in. Lots of dogs, all over the world, have their “regular rounds” of people and places they visit as a matter of routine. It doesn’t mean the dogs love those more – it means you’re a great owner who enriches your dog’s life with great experiences.

Dogs should also adore their dog walkers, if you use one. We know of many people, now working from home, who continue to use their walkers. It’s good for everyone – the walkers have continued employment in tough times, the owners have a few minutes to themselves, and the dogs love it. 

Loving too much?

If you’ve attended a dog training class, or hired a private trainer, your dog may also adore the trainer. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes not so much. 

Most good trainers are wary of using a dog in the class for a “demo dog,” or paying too much attention to any attendee’s dog. It’s not that the trainer doesn’t like you, or your dog. A good trainer will avoid substantial interaction with other people’s dogs. 

We know that dogs respond to clear, consistent instructions and rewards. Dogs that seem clueless and untrainable can instantly become stars of the class when the trainer takes the leash. Good trainers have spent years honing those skills – crystal clear instructions, prompt delivery of rewards.

He really does love you best

Don’t despair if your dog runs off to greet someone else. The joy she feels in seeing that person reflects the confidence and fun you’ve built into her life. And remember, you’re greeted with exuberant delight when you return. Even if you were just gone long enough to take out the trash. Your dog really does love you best.

Special dogs need routine even more

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Booker in his "place!" Booker is "special."

Have we told you that Fran’s 7-year-old Boston Terrier is a very “special” dog? He has difficulty focusing, he has the attention span of a gnat, he constantly needs attention – he just never seems to completely relax

High energy is a characteristic of Boston Terriers. So we knew what we were getting into. We’ve had Bostons most of our lives, starting with our childhood pet, Spunky. 

Another special dog

Our last Boston before Booker was Ceilidh, who was a very special dog, indeed. She had only two speeds, full or off. She was, possibly, the sweetest girl ever, but her life had to be strictly scheduled, or she was lost. 

Since Booker wasn’t as extreme as Ceilidh, we didn’t realize, until Simon joined the family, that Booker, too, was a special dog. 

Facing facts makes life easier

Once we understood what was going on with Booker, we made changes to make everyone’s life easier.

All dogs love routine. But special, high-energy, high-anxiety dogs crave it. They can thrive when they know what to expect, when to expect it, and what’s happening. 

Thriving with routine

It’s to Fran’s credit that she never gives up with Booker. He’s accomplished amazing things, in light of his personality. He achieved a Companion Dog title – the first level of competition obedience. The hardest thing for Booker was, at the time, sitting for one minute, lying down for three minutes, in a line-up of other dogs and Fran across the room. 

Every dog does better with routine. And a routine can be any rehearsed schedule, from what time to get up in the morning, to what you say and do in the few minutes before you leave the house.

Best part of the day

For Booker, the routine he enjoys the most is his morning training session. It’s only a few minutes, but it makes his day. He dashes down to the basement where we train, and waits on the mat in our little training area. 

Booker practicing retrieving his dumbbell.

What Fran and Booker practice for those few minutes can be anything – from advanced obedience or rally skills to “put your toys away,” to silly tricks, like crawl or roll over.

And when his session is done, Fran asks him to “hup!” She kneels and he stands on two back feet and puts his front paws on her leg. He gets a reward, and happily goes into his crate while the other dogs each get a “turn.”

If you have a special pup, try adding more structure to his/her life. It can make it easier for everyone.

Accentuate the positive

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Ever try to teach your dog not to do something? 

“Stop barking at leaves blowing down the street!”

“Don’t counter-surf!”

“Leave the garbage alone!”

Your garbage is tempting to your dog - make a training game out of it!

It’s hard. Much more difficult than training dogs what they should be doing. It’s easy to reward a good decision your dog makes. But communicating the “badness” of a decision requires interrupting the behavior you don’t want. And for that, we have to catch them in the act. All too often we see the aftermath of the naughtiness, not the act itself. 

We know it’s frustrating. And we know the temptation is to believe “he knows better!” when your dog dumped over the garbage again. 

Your dog doesn’t know better

It’s not true. He/she doesn’t know better. The instinct to go after that smelly, irresistible garbage absolutely overpowered the lesson to “leave it.” Dogs live in the moment and really don’t “know better.” To read more about this, see the 2-Minute Tip: https://2-minute-trainer.com/dogs-live-in-the-moment-and-do-not-know-better

When it’s time to do something about the behavior you don’t want, you have two choices:

  • Control the situation and, in this example, make the garbage inaccessible to the dog.
  • Set up a training game and play it often, so your dog truly does understand.

Teach a better solution

In the case of the garbage dumper, it’s easy to get started teaching a better decision. Start by getting your clicker and a bunch of treats and stand by the garbage. When your dog looks at you instead of the garbage, click and reward. Build distance from the garbage can and be sure to watch your dog carefully. Whenever he/she “chooses” you instead of the trash, click and reward. Ultimately, you can increase the “difficulty” of the game by making sure there’s stinky stuff in the garbage that your dog usually can’t ignore.

It may take multiple repetitions for your dog to get the idea that looking away from the trash is “good.”  This is one of those situations that yelling at the dog is faster, easier, and lets you vent your frustration. But it’s not better. And negative attention to the behavior is still attention, which most dogs crave. 

Correcting “bad” behavior with positive reinforcement does take patience and planning. It’s also a more long-lasting solution and builds understanding for your dog. We’d rather take the time than have a dog  that disappears, cowers, or even yells back. 

Plan a training game

If your dog consistently does something you hate, plan a training game that turns it around. What would you rather see  your dog do in response to the situation? How can you communicate that to your dog? Create your own 2-Minute-Training game around it. You can do it!

Stop lying to your dog

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Teasing your dog is lying. Fooling your dog is lying. Stop lying to your dog.

Last year there was a viral video challenge on social media that featured people, with their pets as audience, holding up a blanket in front of themselves (in a doorway), stepping out of sight, and dropping the blanket. Hilarity ensued, as the dogs (or birds, or cats) looked surprised and went to find their “disappeared” people. 

It was funny, and not what we’re talking about. It was a momentary “startle” and the dog’s world was right-side-up again within moments. Not a big deal.

Habitual lying is the issue

Also on social media, in a local dog-owners group, we saw a picture of an adorable dog and the owner, introducing herself and her pup, said one of her dog’s favorite games was chasing the laser pointer. 

That’s lying to your dog. Big time. If you’re playing that game, stop it.

Your dog chasing a laser is a no-win game. That's lying to your dog. Stop it.

You’re probably wondering why that’s a big deal. The reason is because it’s a no-win game. And while people may understand “no win” scenarios and choose to play as a skill test, dogs don’t. The dog can never, ever catch the light. 

A behaviorist friend of ours has witnessed dogs becoming obsessed by the light. What started as a game becomes a frustrated compulsion to chase light – any light. Even sunlight coming through a window, with trees causing shadows, triggered the obsessive/compulsive behavior. Does it happen with every dog? No. But why play a game your dog can’t win?

Never lie to your dog

Dogs are honest beings. Contrary to what some people think, dogs aren’t conniving or guilt-ridden. If your dog peed on your bed when you went to work, it wasn’t because she was being spiteful. It was because she’s suffering from separation anxiety, was looking for you, and was in distress. 

Chances are that dog was lied to. Rather than teach her a routine to follow when they were leaving for work, they may have tried to sneak out. Dogs are highly adaptable, bright beings. When they’re given the information they need to cope with a situation, they can do it. If you’re leaving for work, give your dog a special “I’m leaving” treat-filled toy, tell him/her to be good, and go. 

Be good to your dog

When dogs know what they’re supposed to do, they’ll do it. Not robotically, and their responses can change with location, distraction, etc. But if your dog knows the word “Sit!” your dog will sit whenever you ask, wherever you are, whoever’s around you. 

And if, every time your dog does as you ask, you deliver a reward, your dog will do it more consistently and happily over time. Consistent behavior on our part is mirrored in our dogs. Don’t pretend you have a treat if you don’t. Tell your dog she’s wonderful and show your open hands. She may be disappointed that there’s no cookie, but she’ll know she can always trust you.

Dogs understand the bottom line

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What’s the bottom line for your dog? What are the things that he or she values most? And how can you use those high-ticket items to shape the behavior you want?

The entire basis for successful, science-based, 2-Minute-Trainer dog training is a compact we have with our dogs: they get what they want when we get what we want. It’s the best deal anyone’s ever made. Our dogs understand what’s expected of them and know they’ll be rewarded, comfortable, and loved. And we have loyal, loving, well-behaved, and adorable companions.

Adding value for everyone

What things are dearest to your dog? Is it food? Food-motivated dogs are a pleasure to train. Gratification is almost instantaneous. 

Do toys and play rate highest for your dog? So much fun to be had by all with training games.

Humans and dogs both have a rating system for rewards. For most people, chocolate is more rewarding than Brussels Sprouts. Think about your dog’s preferences. One of ours adores celery – it’s a very high-value treat. When we really want him to pay attention, we have celery in our treat pouch.

Likewise, some toys are more important than others to toy-loving dogs. If you’re playing a training game, think about whether your dog will give up the toy to go back to the game, or if it’s so precious to him/her that he’ll lose interest in the game and focus instead on the reward.

Transferring the value

Simon has value for the balance disc - he gets lots of treats when he's on it.

You can use the things that your dog prizes make other “things” valuable. For example: we have our dogs work on balance and fitness on an inflatable balance disc. (A couch cushion can work just as well. For more on this, go to the post.) Whenever our dogs get up on that disc, they are rewarded. Every single time. That balance disc is one of the most valuable things in the house to every one of our dogs because they know its value.

From the dog’s perspective, it’s not the “thing.” It’s what happens when he interacts with the thing. 

Say you want to start the “put your toys away” game. Start with the “thing” that you want your dog to pick up. You can use any household item; a spatula, a paper towel tube, an empty plastic jar, whatever you want.

Put the thing down in front of the dog. When he looks at it, reward. And offer the reward close to the “thing.” In almost no time, the “thing” acquires value. Dog thinks: “When I look at it (touch it, pick it up, carry it) I get something great every time. I love that thing!”

Transfer the value

It works no matter what. You can add value to any object or place, just by consistently showing your dog it’s important. Dogs love us and want to please us, but they’re also sufficiently selfish to do what benefits them. Dogs will repeat behaviors that have value. That’s every dog’s bottom line.

Pack dog training debunked

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“Pack” dynamics was all the rage in dog training a while ago. There are still some remnants of it around. The objective, for those who managed to avoid the nonsense, was that you should be the “Alpha” dog – and that the other dogs would naturally be subservient.

Our domestic dogs bear very little resemblance to wolves in the wild.
Our domestic dogs are nothing like wolf packs in the wild.

Research into how dogs learn and behave has put paid to this. Dogs in human households are nothing like wolf packs in the wild. Domestic dogs are dependent throughout their lives, and more like perpetual puppies than a mature wolf pack. Pack dog training is unproductive and archaic.

Pack dog training silliness

Recently we’ve seen some dog food commercials emphasizing the relationship between wolves and dogs. While we agree that dogs aren’t designed to be vegetarians, showing majestic leaping wolves morphing into domestic dogs isn’t apples to apples. Dogs and wolves may have common ancestry, but their similarities after thousands of years of domestication are minimal.

If you’ve been following a famous television dog trainer who advocates pack structure and talks about “calming” behaviors, stop it now. It won’t help your training to think you have to dominate your dog. The best and most effective dog training forges a partnership between you. It’s not somber, it’s fun. Rather than forceful and stern, good training is playful and fun

Go with what works

When we started in dog training, decades ago, there were lots of methods used that we now consider abuse. In obedience competition training, it was common to pinch a dog’s ear to get him/her to pick up a dumbbell. We’re sorry to admit we know of some people who still use it. 

It’s not necessary. And it’s certainly not fun, for either the trainer or the dog.  

Tango picks stuff up and puts them into a bin.
Fran trained Tango to pick his toys up and put them into a bin.

Our dogs pick up all sorts of stuff, carry the stuff around, and put it down where we want them to. And all we did to achieve it was play a game. Here’s how it goes:

“Pick up the thing” game

Get a bunch of treats, your clicker, and the “thing” you want your dog to pick up. 

Put the thing on the floor and stand by it. If your dog looks at the thing, click and treat. Do that three times. 

By the third time, your dog’s going to figure out that the “thing” gets him/her rewarded. You’ve added value to the “thing.”

When your dog “gets” this idea, ask for more. You don’t have to be quiet, still praise your dog for looking, but now save the treats for something more – touching the “thing” with his/her mouth. If your dog touches it with a paw, you can certainly encourage and praise. The treats should be “saved” for the actions that move the behavior forward – in this case we want the dog to pick up the thing.

That’s basically the sequence: introduce the thing and reward each step in the progression. Each dog’s steps may be different, but could include: look, sniff, lick, pick up. Then run away with the “thing” and show it off like a trophy as you run around!

If your dog does this, the impulse is to run after him and try to get it away. Instead, run with him, or away from him, encouraging your dog to come with you! If you’ve already gotten a box or bin you want the “thing” placed in, run over to that and encourage your dog to “drop” the thing. 

No domination here

In just a few short sessions, you and your dog will have a new game to play. And you both had fun learning it. If your ambition includes obedience, it’s even a useful game. And nobody got hurt doing it.