August 2019 - 2 Minute Trainer

Yes, your dog is your baby

Whether you like the term “pet parent” or not, dogs are, in many ways, akin to human toddlers.

Consider these “Social Characteristics of Toddlers”

Toddlers are headstrong and negativistic.
They are naturally active, mobile and curious.
They are repetitive, rigid, ritualistic, and stereotyped in their behavior.
They tend to go into temper tantrums in order to control self and other.
Play is the work of toddlers. Through play they learn how to manipulate and understand their environment
Rituals increase in the toddler’s sense of security by making compulsive routines of simple tasks
Negativism can be countered by offering limited choices and the use of distraction in the handling toddlers whose favorite word is “NO”.

Sound familiar?

The reaction they get will determine whether they try it again

Training isn’t about controlling all aspects of your dog’s life. It’s about teaching him or her to cope with the world he/she lives in. Dogs like knowing what’s allowed and what isn’t. That doesn’t mean they won’t test the boundaries – just like any toddler. They will try to manipulate you, or “push your buttons” – just like a human toddler. The reaction they get will determine whether they try it again.

Say your dog barks at you. What do you do? If it’s a bark for attention – does your dog get it? Do you yell at him to “be quiet?” Do you bribe her to get her to shut up? Or do you ignore it?

Attention = Reward (for a dog)

If your dog was successful in getting you to pay attention – any kind of attention – the barking for attention worked and you’ll get more of the same behavior. Your dog tested and won. Even if all you did was get angry – you barked back and your dog got the attention he/she was craving.

If you ignored the behavior – either by continuing what you were doing or by leaving the vicinity, the barking didn’t work and you’ll probably see less of it.

Here’s a few seconds of the chaos and mayhem in our house before we told the dogs to knock it off:

Goof goodies

Everybody messes up. We’re human. It happens.

I goofed up! I should give my dog a "Goof Goodie!"

It happens in training all the time. We say the wrong thing, look the wrong way, click at the wrong time, turn in the wrong direction.

Guess what? You’re the only one that knows. Keep it secret from your dog!

When you make a mistake, give your dog a treat. Reward with a “goof goodie!”

Why?

It keeps your dog from thinking that it’s his/her fault.

Think about it. What’s everybody’s first reaction when they screw up? They sigh, or say “ugh” (or worse). How does your dog know you’re not talking to him? Whenever you’re together, you always talk to her!

A dog trained with positive reinforcement probably won’t repeat something that hasn’t been rewarded. And may avoid doing things that got a negative reaction. So if we say “dammit” out loud, the dog thinks we’re talking to him. And, because he’s a very good dog, he won’t do it again. Even if he was right and we were the ones that screwed up.

You may know you’re talking to yourself – metaphorically slapping yourself. But your dog doesn’t. And she’s the only other one there. Let her know she’s good.

Give her a Goof Goodie and let it go. You’ll do better next time.

Be the Senior Partner

You and your dog are a team, best friends, compadres. It’s a partnership – living together happily ever after. To make that true, you have to be the senior partner.

We meet lots of people whose dogs run their lives. They love their dogs and want them to be happy. So, if Fido doesn’t like company coming over, they don’t invite anyone over. If Fido doesn’t want to go to bed, they stay up. You get the idea. And we’re all guilty of bits of it.

But we’ll let you in on a little secret. Dogs don’t like being in charge. They’ll take the wheel if no one’s steering, but they’d rather be back-seat drivers!

Dogs love rules!

Dogs are addicted to rules and order. If your dog always eats at a certain time, have you noticed him getting discombobulated when Daylight Savings Time changes the clocks? No one told your dog, and he doesn’t much like it!

Another consideration is that dogs are akin to human toddlers. Taught to be polite, caring, and unselfish, they’re praiseworthy members of the family and a joy to be around. Left to their own devices, they can be selfish, rude, and destructive.

Letting your dog decide the rules of the house all the time isn’t fair to either one of you. Once in a while, there’s nothing wrong with being tempted away from household chores by those puppy dog eyes begging for a game of fetch.

The problem arises when the dog makes the rules. If your dog is restricting your life, if you’re foregoing activities or opportunities because of your dog, things need to change.

Both of you will be happier when you become the Senior Partner in your relationship with your dog.

Get Over It

Why does my dog hate women with hats? We'll never know.

We’ll never know why.

Why does my dog hate umbrellas? Why does my dog react to women with hats? Why does my dog not do stairs? Or chase cars? Or eat poop?

For all the million and one things that we hear – there’s no answer. And it’s really, really hard, but you have to let it go.

Dogs can’t talk

Your dog will never be able to tell you why she loves the UPS delivery person but hates the mail carrier. Or why he cringes when you pick up a magazine. You can speculate. “He’s a rescue – maybe somebody did something at some time that caused it.” But that doesn’t help. And, at this point, it’s an excuse.

Don’t excuse

Whenever you try to justify whatever the behavior is, you’re excusing it. Be honest with yourself. If you accept any behavior that’s not ideal; fearfulness, shyness, even aggression, you’re making an excuse. To help your dog live his/her best life, you have to deal with what is.

If your dog is afraid of something, turn it into something terrific. A few years ago, the training hall where our obedience club held classes had an overhead heater that was noisy and turned on with an explosive sound and fan. One of the Golden Retrievers in class would shy away from it, refusing to go anywhere near it, almost frenzied to get away from that part of the room.

We made a plan and turned it around. Whenever the heater came on, Sassy’s owner would stop whatever she was doing with the class, move far away from the heater, and start giving Sassy treats. Telling Sassy she was wonderful, and brave. When Sassy calmed down, she would rejoin the class.Over time, they got closer and closer. By the end of the session, when the heater fired up Sassy would run to sit right underneath it to get her treats.

Make a plan

You can modify your dog’s reaction to any situation. All it takes is a plan, and time. Think about the reaction you want from your dog, and the steps you’ll need to climb to achieve it. You can do it!