Nobody’s perfect. No dog is perfect. Perfection isn’t possible for people or dogs. So stop worrying about it!
The other day we were watching the finals of the U.S. Men’s Figure Skating Championships on tv. Nathan Chen, who is the top-rated competitor in the world, fell on his ass during a (relatively) simple step sequence. Did he become enraged? Did he stomp off in a huff? No. He shrugged, smiled, and laughed it off.
Everybody messes up sometimes. And while we all wish that our public performances were perfect, playing with dogs in any public space has taught us that anything can happen. And far from being derisive or humiliating, the vast majority are sympathetic and understanding. The dog world is full of “been there, done that” stories. And since we all love to talk dogs, you’ll get to hear lots of people’s “Life’s Most Embarassing Moment” stories in dog venues.
Like the time Hope was competing with Teddy in Agility and she tripped over the first jump. On the positive side, it removes all pressure when you mess up before you even start. You still get to go home with the best dog. And, unless you tell him/her – your dog will never know anything’s wrong at all.
Pure souls
We do encourage everyone to train their dogs and find an outlet for that training. It all adds up to living the biggest life possible with your dog. It could be you’d love to do therapy work, or frisbee (disc dog), or Scent Work, or one of our favorites: Rally, Obedience, or Agility. There’s tons of “stuff” to do with dogs, all surrounded by communities full of worth-knowing people.
We’ve mentioned many times that Fran’s Boston Terrier Booker is very special – not in a good way. But he comes close to normal, and thrives, in Rally Obedience class. It’s a happy place for him, where all he has to do is pay attention to his mom and show off “stuff” she’s taught him how to do. He positively prances through the courses – ears up, a bounce in his step.
It’s not about the ribbons, or the competition. It’s about creating an inter-species understanding that’s based on commitment and love. Dogs are really honest creatures. If they don’t know what you want them to do, they’ll either try everything they know to please you, or shut down. If they get it right, they’re thrilled with themselves. If they mess up – they don’t know unless you tell them. Don’t tell them.
“My Bad” Morsels
For every time we mess up in training, our dogs get “My Bad” morsels. We never want our dogs to know that something’s not right. When our attention wanders, we say the wrong thing, we turn the wrong direction, anytime we get it wrong, our dog gets a reward. Why? Because everybody, when they realize they made an error, tends to say something like “Darn!” or worse. And your dog has no way of knowing that disappointment isn’t aimed at them.
To deflect that worry, and let your dog know everything’s okay, deliver a “My Bad” morsel. You can certainly say “My Bad” as you give the treat. That teaches your dog that saying “My Bad” actually means “Good Dog!” You’ll avoid the shut down that can happen if your dog thinks they screwed up.
Be like Nathan
The sooner you learn to shrug, smile, and laugh off the mistakes, the happier you and your dog will be with your training. The more you laugh in training, the more your dog will repeat what made it happen.
This can have unintended consequences. Fran laughs every time Simon “rolls over.” It just makes her giggle. So Simon started rolling over every time she told him to “Down!” It was adorable, but she had to stop giggling if she ever wanted to compete in Rally or Obedience with him. It was a delightfully funny “problem” to solve.
Don’t worry, be happy
2-Minute Training sessions with your dog should be the times every day when you can relax, play with your dog, and forget about anything else that’s causing stress in your life. Each session doesn’t have to be productive, or even particularly purposeful. At least once a week we try for a “Freestyle” session and just let our dog interact with some “stuff” however they want. Everything they try, from nudging a box to batting at a drum, gets a click and a cookie. If there’s some particularly good and creative stuff, it may show up in a training game later. If not, the dog got to have some fun, knock stuff over, get clicks and treats.
No dog is perfect
There’s a saying among dog trainers that every dog is trained to his owner’s level of comfort. The gist is that if it doesn’t bother you, you won’t train your dog not to do it, whatever “it” may be. Dogs require clear explanations of what’s “allowed” vs. not. They learn through the timing and placement of rewards. But we don’t have to be perfect. We just have to get it right most of the time. And our dogs will, too.
